Lead with Love: America is a home we can come back to

I grew up in a cul-de-sac in Southern California riding my bike in the street and playing with sidewalk chalk. My parents made a great choice in 1987 to move from inland Orange County, when there were actually still orange groves there, to the coast. There are no more orange groves in Orange County (or The OC as some like to call it) as far as I know, and living on the coast is definitely the place to be. 

My family house in SoCal still feels like home. There are pictures on the wall of me and my siblings frozen in time wearing neon headbands, wraparound sunglasses and in-the-boot stretchy ski pants on the ski slopes with my parents. There are pictures of my parents and their parents and their parents’ parents on those walls. My sister Michele, who died before I was born, is always there, always 5-years-old. I always pause to look at her and say hello soul to soul to someone I never knew but miss. My kids and all the grandkids’ faces are covering every inch of remaining wall space. A lot of the furniture and even plates, cups and silverware are the same as when I was roaming those halls as a tween and teen. This is a blessing. Having a sense of home is a blessing. 

For as long as I can remember, all of the neighbors in that cul-de-sac throw a party on Memorial Day. Tables, chairs and BBQ’s are dragged to the middle of that black asphalt circle at the top of the street and copious amounts of food and drink are shared with people, many of whom I’ve known since I was 10. I happened to be home visiting for this annual get-together last month, as the neighbors also decided they must celebrate my dad’s 89th birthday that day, so I wanted to be there. Not only did the neighbors at the top of the street secretly install a huge Happy Birthday display in my parents front garden with lights, but they all gathered to sing and shower my dad with love at the gathering. This is an America I miss. This kind of America where neighbors come together to love, celebrate and take care of each other. 

I know this American still exists, and most people are really good people looking out for each other, but sometimes, I forget when I consume the news and see so much division, misinformation and tribalism within our own country and in the world. My parents are proud South Orange County Democrats. They are the minority in Orange County and in their neighborhood, but that doesn’t matter when the barbecue’s are out, the neighbors are all swapping stories and the kids are out there roaming the streets. All of the neighbors seem to love America with their American flags waving in front of their houses, and yet we all express that in different ways. 

To me, America is special because of all of the people in it, most of whom, like my grandparents and great-grandparents, came from other places. The great melting pot of America, made great by immigrants like my ancestors who look at me from the walls of my childhood home. They came over on a boat, a most perilous journey across a vast ocean, to give me a chance to live in a cul-de-sac in Southern California where I would ride my bike and play with sidewalk chalk, just as my children are doing today in that same spot. Home. We are blessed to call this kind of America home. An America where people love and care for each other and the planet is the America we need to come home to.

Gina Murdock is the founder of Lead with Love, an Aspen-based not for profit dedicated to shifting culture from fear to love by cultivating and nurturing heart centered leaders through their Care for Caregivers Program and other offerings. Join their free monthly gatherings at True Nature in Carbondale every third Thursday. ileadwithlove.org for more info.