Lead with Love: This is my life — I love it

Sitting on a beach on the West Coast of France recently, a few things struck me.

First, why had it taken me so long to go to the surfing capital of France if not all of Europe? I had been interested in checking this area out for a long time, and if I was asking this question sitting in the mountains of Aspen over 5,000 miles from Hossegor, France, there would be a lot of good reasons why I hadn’t been there. But, I live in France half the year, and it’s not so far away, so why? 

I’ve spent a lot of my life dreaming of things I want to do and not taking the necessary steps to do them or complete them. I have dozens of open tabs on my computer (and in my mind) at any given time, thinking/searching for other things I want to be doing, even while I am doing the thing I most want to be doing in my life by raising my two, magical twin girls. 

This habit of searching and seeking is something I am shifting by bringing more intentionality and integrity into my life. A book by the life coach and author Martha Beck called “The Way of Integrity” struck a deep cord of resonance within me recently. In it, she asks the reader to consider, “If I were absolutely free, what would I be doing right now?” And then she instructs the reader: “Do it.”

Obstacles to doing these things we dream of doing are based on limiting beliefs and falsehood, she says. Question those beliefs, and you can be free to say “yes” to the yesses and “no” to the noes and live a life that resonates with the truth of who you are, which feels like freedom. Kind of like riding a perfect wave. 

I want to be free, and I want to surf. I spend most of my life not surfing and often not feeling totally free. It is my inner/outer journey to figure out what limiting beliefs keep me on dry land or on the flattest of flat seas or feeling just a bit off my true path, and I am excited to do this work. Cowabunga to that! 

Arno, my surf instructor in France, unknowingly inspired me not only to surf better, but to also live a life that feels free and on purpose. 

“Don’t you get sick of sitting in neoprene in the hot sun, day after day, teaching one soggy minion after another to surf?” I asked him during our second session together as we watched dozens of kids in matching, bright-pink jerseys marching down the beach in surf school. There he was, sunburnt and smiling, eating cookies straight from the bag because he rarely has a break from morning to night doing the same thing over and over, and he says, “No. I love it.” 

Arno went on to explain that he grew up in this area, it’s his home, he was a lifeguard and has a deep knowledge of the tricky sea currents in this area, and he loves surfing and all that goes with it. “This is my life,” he said emphatically. Clearly, he didn’t have a hundred different tabs open on his computer (and in his mind) searching for something better or different out there. “I love it.” Munch, munch, munch. Let’s surf!

This is my life. l love it. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. The way he said it so easily. There was nothing else. It’s not it’s my life, and it’s hard, or it sucks sometimes — but I love it. Or, it’s my life, and I love parts of it a lot, and I deal with the rest — it’s my life, and I love it. I want that. I know I don’t have to change anything about my life to get to that point. 

I get to explore my infinite nature within the confines of the life I built. I can expand when I feel stuck by breathing in, acknowledging wins, and allowing myself to be content with what is and, if I am not, to change it. Do it, says Martha Beck. Do it, says your higher self. Stop lying to yourself. If it isn’t working, leave. If it is, stay in, close the open tabs, and love your life. This one life right here. Right now. This is it. And I love it. 

Gina Murdock is the founder and director of Lead with Love, an Aspen-based nonprofit organization dedicated to shifting culture from fear to love. Join Lead with Love up at Beyul for a heart-opening retreat Caring for Caregivers, Aug. 10-13. More info at ileadwithlove.org.

Gina Murdock is the founder of Lead with Love, an Aspen, Colo. based non-profit org dedicated to shifting culture from fear to love and a board member of CASA of the Ninth dedicated to advocating for children who are neglected and abused. More info at www.ileadwithlove.org