Meredith C. Carroll: Never have I ever: Aspen travel edition

Give yourself one point for each experience you haven’t had traveling to Aspen/Snowmass:

— Your flight into Aspen arrived late.

— Your flight into Aspen was diverted to Grand Junction.

— Your flight into Aspen was diverted to Eagle.

— Your plane into Aspen circled the airport before turning around and flying back to Denver.

— Your flight into Aspen arrived but you didn’t. (In your defense: Concourse A at Denver International Airport is no one’s friend, and certainly not someone with a tight connection.)

— Your flight into Aspen was canceled due to mechanical issues.

— Your flight into Aspen was canceled due to inclement weather.

— Your flight into Aspen was canceled on a perfectly sunny day.

— Your flight into Aspen was canceled because the pilot couldn’t be located.

— Your flight into Aspen was canceled because what were you thinking when you booked a flight into Aspen in the first place.

— Your flight into Aspen was canceled and the next available one is in two days.

— Your flight into Aspen was canceled and the next available rental car or shuttle bus is in three days.

— Your flight into Aspen was oversold.

— You were the only person on your flight into Aspen.

— You managed to snag a rental car and it broke down on I-70.

— You managed to snag a rental car and the flight you would have taken beats you to Aspen.

— Your luggage arrived in Aspen before you.

— Your luggage arrived immediately after you wasted a day getting all new stuff.

— Your flight into Eagle was diverted to Aspen but your car is parked in Eagle.

— You spent your first night in Aspen in Denver.

— You spent your first night in Aspen in Steamboat Springs.

— You spent your first night in Aspen in a near-condemned motel on the side of I-70 that cost as much as a hotel in Aspen (just kidding; just wait).

— A snowstorm shut down the Aspen airport.

— Lightning shut down DIA.

— A tornado warning shut down DIA.

— An avalanche shut down I-70.

— A semi-truck with no chains shut down I-70.

— A Tuesday shut down Vail Pass (ditto for the other days of the week).

— A semi-truck shut down Independence Pass.

— A bike race shut down Independence Pass.

— A biker gang shut you down on Independence Pass.

— Crossing ducks held you up on Independence Pass.

— A cyclist held up the finger to you on Independence Pass.

— A car with out-of-state plates held your bumper, or got as close to it as possible without actually fusing into you, on Independence Pass.

— A truck full of big bright yellow rafts blocked your sight on Independence Pass.

— Flash floods shut down Glenwood Canyon.

— Mudslides shut down Glenwood Canyon.

— Wildfires shut down Glenwood Canyon.

— A police chase shut down Glenwood Canyon.

— You eyed the other passengers in your car with disgust until you realize that smell is just the Glenwood Springs exit.

— A plague of deer lining the road kept you driving no faster than 17 mph.

— Migrating elk made you late.

— You budgeted four hours for a trip that took 17.

— It took you longer to drive from the Aspen airport into town than it took to fly from Denver to Aspen.

— You needed three days to recover from the specific trauma of traveling to Aspen.

— You swore off all travel and vowed to never leave home ever again.

— Immediately after arriving in Aspen you started making plans for next time.

More at MeredithCarroll.com and on Twitter @MCCarroll.