Lo-fidelity: Born-again at the Elk Camp Meadows

A series of boring injuries, old and new, found me basically re-learning how to ski at the Elk Camp Meadows on Thanksgiving Day. 

I’m a firm believer in the concept that injury serves an often-understated yet important role in the sport of skiing. The wounded are afforded a rare chance to re-calibrate, reflect, and re-discover the sport through a fresh set of eyes. To accomplish this, I chose to surround myself with my “people”: beginner skiers.

My turkey-day rationale was thus: I could go to Aspen Mountain, mix adrenaline with lactic acid, roll the dice with the throngs of speed skiers, and risk getting hit — my biggest fear these days — or I could take things nice and easy, play it safe, and head-over at the Elk Camp Meadows beginner area. The only turkeys receiving pardons were those complaining about the snow conditions.

My first stop was the Magic Carpet — the coveted and covered conveyer belt that takes newbies roughly 100 yards and whopping 10 vertical feet to the tippy top of the uber-beginner slope. I affectionately refer to the Magic Capet as the “Beginner Skier Birth Canal.” The experience of emerging from the tube as a “never-ever” skier — bibles aside — is the closest they’ll ever come to being born again. When the Magic Carpet spits them out at the top, kicking and screaming covered in placenta, they have the whole world of skiing ahead of them. For me, the born-again-skier experience was relatively painless: from “cradle to vadle” in three easy days.

“Whoa!” someone asked, dumbfounded with disbelief.  “You actually went to the Elk Camp Meadows and skied all weekend?!” Damn right I did. The average “Ajax-only” local would never deign themselves to ski Snowmass, let alone stoop so low as to intentionally ski the beginner area. 

Not me. I love witnessing the tortuous experience of learning to ski. Skiing is hard. It’s definitely not for everyone. You would not believe the contortionist yoga moves on skis beginners execute while implementing the “self-taught” method. It’s like being on-location for a Warren Miller movie. I saw a dude from India unintentionally do a highly-technical, tip-stand move (right before he royally ate it). I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to do one for years!

On my peaceful, introspective Magic Carpet ride, I had an epiphany while pondering our town’s odd little headspace: Early season skiing has very little to do with snow. It’s more about getting the band back together, spending time outdoors, seeing old familiar faces, setting ourselves up for new adventures, and reaffirming why we live here. For many locals, skiing is their identity. I gazed up at the ethereal clouds, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and had a peaceful, near-spiritual moment. 

All of a sudden, complete pandemonium.

“BLAM-O!!!”

Out of nowhere, a beginner snowboarder totally out of control, who had somehow managed to straight-line the entire Meadows run without falling, came crashing through the snow fence and slammed into the Plexiglas right beside me. This fella must’ve had a race-tune with F4 race wax on his board because he was flying! It was like being front-row at an Av’s game when a Detroit Red Wing gets violently checked into the glass right in front of you. 

That scared me. In retrospect, were it not for the Plexiglas, I very well could’ve ended up right back in the hospital. And I thought skiing Aspen Mountain was dangerous! I transitioned over to the main beginner lift where things felt a little safer. Phew. I spotted a fellow Bronco’s fan sporting a CDOT-orange team hoodie, and we rode up together. Turns out, he was a local Snowmass 5^th grader who’d gleefully been lapping the Meadows all day. We started contrasting the four different ski mountains when he nonchalantly dropped the dis-bomb. 

No sooner did I say the words “Aspen” and “Mountain” when he matter-of-factly blurted out, “Ajax sucks.” The statement was uttered with such conviction and knowing, it shocked me; like when you hear grandma say the “F” word. I’ve endured a lot of disses on Aspen in my day, but this one, coming from a 5^th grade snowboarder — on the Elk Camp Meadows lift, no less — was solid gold, hot-take, insult highlight reel material. You go, lil’ contrarian! Way to throw a forever-log on the comical Aspen v. Snowmass bonfire!

I’d like to thank all of the beginner skiers, lift operators, and entire crew out at the Elk Camp Meadows (or the “Shred-O’s,” as they like to call it — sounds like a snowboarder’s breakfast cereal) for affording me a crucial re-birth opportunity. The whole experience was just what the ski-doctor ordered. 

At the end of my big day at the Elk Camp Meadows, I came to the realization: After skiing pretty much my entire life, I’ve ended up in the same ol’ place. I hope everyone has a really fun and memorable ski season. Here’s to it. See you out on the slopes!

Contact Lorenzo via email at suityourself@sopris.net.