Marolt: The data is in — women are better than men
There is a good reason why men have women’s names tattooed on their biceps: Women are better than men; not at any particular thing but just better overall and in general.
Of course, I started this exploration by comparing myself with my wife and came away feeling weak in the knees standing on moral ground, high ground and even trying to walk if off on the high road. She is so much better than me it’s like comparing a turnip to honey dew melon for sweetness. A mental survey of my friends and acquaintances bore equally lopsided satisfaction.
I wanted to laugh this off, so I Googled “neighborliness” to see if I could shed some light on employing the Golden Rule by gender as a test. I figured I would get no results and, thus, this would be the end of my investigation and I could head to the gym for some bench pressing. Unfortunately the good folks at http://www.safehome.org actually did a study on this and found that women are about 6 percent more neighborly than men.
Frustrated in things pointing to superior female goodness, I went straight to the 10 Commandments hoping to find relief only to be utterly disappointed again.
Believing in God? According to data accumulated from the Pew Research Center, 64 percent of atheists are men.
Taking the Lord’s name in vain? Studies have determined men swear more than women. Guvendir argues, the variance in their usage is likely connected to overall differences in the way males and females process aggressive impulses. In the journal, Language Sciences, he recounts several studies showing a greater volume in the orbitofrontal cortex of female brains — which suggests that the average woman’s brain is better built for moderating aggression than the average man’s brain.
Keeping holy the sabbath? According to data from the Pew Research Center, around the world, 83.4 percent of women say they identify with a religion compared with 79.9 percent of men. There are about 100 million more religiously affiliated women on the planet than men.
Honoring our fathers and mothers? More than 65 percent of older people who need long-term care rely solely on family and friends, and most of those caregivers — estimates range from 59 to 75 percent — are women, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance. A recent study by a Princeton researcher found that daughters step up twice as often as sons.
Thou shalt not kill? Ha! Not even close! A 2013 global study on homicide by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime found that males committed about 96 percent of all homicides.
Adultry? As reported by The Institute for Family Studies, in general, men are more likely than women to cheat: 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women reported that they’ve had sex with someone other than their spouse while married, according to data from the recent General Social Survey.
Stealing? According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation Criminal Justice Information Services Division statistics, men commit 79.7 percent of stolen property crimes, including 87 percent of robberies, 83.6 percent of burglaries, 81.1 percent of automobile thefts, and 56.9 percent of larcenies.
I assumed men might find some relief in the bearing false witness department, and it is close. According to Eyal Eckhaus and Batia Ben-Hador (2017) gossip and gender differences journal of Gender Studies, men and women gossip about the same amount.
I would have joyously settled for a tie at this point, but it was not to be. It turns out women’s gossip is generally more positive than men’s. And on top of this, men, on average, tell about 1,092 lies every year compared with just 728 for women, as reported by Katie Maggs in a study for the Science Museum.
Coveting our neighbors’ stuff and spouses was my final hope. It has always seemed to me that women pay more attention to labels, fashions, who has what and shopping and such. Oh, the disappointment! It turns out, in terms of both materialism and conspicuous consumption, men were higher than women. There are so many studies that confirm this that citing only a few is an effort in futility.
I could have worked through the Seven Deadly sins, but I had no enthusiasm or hope left after being shut out completely on the big ten. Besides, most of the deadlies are repeats and I figured men had no edge for moral superiority in the categories of lust, gluttony or sloth.
This journey of discovery has led me out into a dense, flat forest with no sense of direction. My drawing pad is blank of conclusions. I want no part in staking a claim in speculations on this topic. Nonetheless, I can’t stop thinking about this. The data show women have definitely rallied since Eve’s first transgression. Meanwhile, Adam must have mistaken talking louder as a virtue.
Roger Marolt hopes men can bounce back. Email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Rob Ittner is back on the local culinary scene as the new food and beverage director at Anderson Ranch Arts Center.