O’Doherty: Meditations on lifts

I sat equidistant between the wood lockers for a mini-meditation (easy, I’m talking like 3 minutes, 30 seconds). Chin up, palms up, seated on the faux leather convertible storage bench. My back faced the window, protected by metal bars. The Two Creeks locker room exudes a Blazing Saddles sheriff’s office vibe. Only a quiet mind conjures Gene Wilder at Two Creeks, I chuckled to myself.

My physical therapist says I need to tighten my stomach and strengthen my core, so I embraced the advice while maintaining this all-too-brief meditative posture. Thoughts are like clouds, I assured myself. Breathe in for six. I should also tighten my core when putting on my Surefoot Salomon ski boots. At least it wasn’t a negative thought, Fatboy! Thoughts are like clouds.

Soloing up the Two Creeks Lift at 9:30 a.m. offers another meditative moment. Did I bring my phone? No gator? Thoughts are clouds. Breathe in for six, hold for two, exhale for seven. A quiet lift doesn’t offend the morning mountain birds. Hold for two — but that felt like four. Am I not floating above an ancient ocean floor, frozen and fluffed, in a four-seater all to myself? Exhaling for seven is exasperating. Enough meditation. Let’s spend brain power sorting, ranking, and labeling.

For the second year in a row, Snowmass was named the Condé Nast Readers’ Poll Best Ski Resort in North America. This accolade is special because it reflects the voice of the people (Ajax came in fourth with “Heroes” praise, and Highlands placed 12th with Highland Bowl accolades). The esteemed publication’s skiing readership is dazzled by Snowmass Base Village and its dynamic terrain. I imagine Condé Nast clientele find the Skittles lift quaint and MaWa’s crepes delightful. They haven’t even heard about the high-mount DJ at The Cabin après or the Tuesday and Thursday Cat-to-Cabin dinner. Proving once again: if Aspen is the destination, Snowmass is the journey.

I doubt these voters have yet experienced the German autobahn-evoking Coney Express lift. It makes the western side of the mountain lightning-fast with zero lift lines at Coney or Village Express. Bottom line: zero lift lines are the shared raison d’être of the Coney Express and the Condé Nast Readers’ Poll. My kid skier claims Coney’s leather seat bottoms lack storage for her poles and the high-back chairs limit her over-the-shoulder views of kids flipping through Makaha. After all those District Theater pioneer shows about sledding furniture over the pass with jack trains and we still can’t access the depths of our lift entitlement? For me, it’s like flying over America’s most expansive freestyle gauntlet — fast-tracking to Big Burn. Who needs to look back with North America’s free-skiing masterpiece alive before you, riders and skiers dreaming and doing — again and again, just like Olympians Alex Ferreira and Hanna Faulhaber teach them.

Our Olympians remind us that our Condé Nast competitors are coming for us. As Julie Jag wrote in The Salt Lake Tribune: “The luxurious high-speed chairlift — fitted with a gray Deer Valley-branded bubble and heated captain’s seats — delivers passengers to the top of Keetley Point.” Big Sky just launched an eight-pack bubble lift with heated seats. That’s extreme, even for Instagram’s ski influencers. Six-count inhale, hold two.

What if these bougie resorts conduct opposition research within our 1970s Snowmass Shag? Consider the wayfinding challenges at Snowmass Mall: a multi-modal morass of icy slopes between the transit stop and Daly Lane. How did we win Best Resort with that entrance? The nastiest 21 steps in Snowmass. Aspen’s most cringe-worthy people-watching involves tourists spilling at the Mall entrance, dropping skis as buses barrel toward them. Locals should don orange jackets and help. For now, visitors and locals, alike, should share their tales with the Town of Snowmass Village Council.

Breathe in six. I’m not done with the 1970s museum yet. Gems like Grub Thai, Fuel, and The Daly Bottle are hidden amid the “Boba Fett stairs,” an ornamental feature now posing as a metallic, ski-boot obstacle to Zane’s, the golf simulator, and Challenge Aspen. The Mall’s roped-off welcome slab (aka The Twin Ice Valleys for Concussive Wounds) remains hazardous. Snowmass tourism officials might sponsor free La Adelita tequila shots for any parent or tourist who survives these treacherous steps and icy paths.

Around the corner, the transit center feels more like a deportation site than the gateway to North America’s top ski resort. The Snowmass Council must act. Our new mayor emphasized revitalizing the Mall and transit center during her campaign. Let’s give her a chance to lead with her coalition. In the meantime, I’ll focus on my breathing.

Damian O’Doherty is a Snowmass Village resident and an eight-year resident of the Roaring Fork Valley.