Murdock: A reminder of some things you already know
Lead with Love
You know what? I know a lot of things! Mostly I feel best when I operate as if I know nothing because then I am open and curious. Sometimes I act like a know-it-all, and then I get stuck having to pretend I know more than I really know, and that feels heavy and hard.
One thing that I know for sure is that love is the answer to just about everything. That is the light and easy choice even if it may feel way too hard sometimes. It’s the choice with the least baggage and burden to carry.
I often say to myself, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Sometimes it is that choice, and I have to let go of needing to “win” or be “right,” so I can just relax and enjoy life and the people in it. We don’t know what other people are here to learn or when or how. We are here to love. Period.
A few of my wise and wonderful teachers have talked about forgiveness, and there’s just no way around it — it is the way. A practice of compassionate self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others is liberating in such a profound way.
I am not so much for holding grudges, but I often get stuck in judgment and therefore righteousness. It’s heavy. My teachers Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick instructed me that one cannot be in judgment and in loving at the same time. One must choose.
I choose love (after I choose judgment and then realize it’s the wrong choice, the heavy choice, the painful choice … then I always choose love). That is why I can and do prance around in a unicorn suit because I am free, and I choose love. Why do so many people wear black and look sullen? Have you ever wondered about this?
One thing that’s been playing in my mind lately is this: Focus on what’s working. It’s something I’ve heard in multiple ways over the years. It’s the main focus of Martin Seligman’s positive psychology movement, which is brilliant work deeply-rooted in helping people shift perception from focusing on what’s wrong to what’s right and what they truly want.
To put it simply, what you focus on grows. Focus on what’s working — in your life, in others, in the world, and miracles can occur!
Marianne Williamson says, “A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love.” We need some damn miracles on this planet right now!
On getting what you want: Dr. Deepak Chopra talks about attention, intention, and present-moment awareness. These qualities are the recipe, so to say, in cooking up a meaningful, fulfilling life based on your deepest desires.
Think about where you put your attention. Do you notice the little things, the beautiful little things? Do you pause and savor: moments, feelings, friends, family? Where your attention goes, energy goes. Energy is life force!
Intention? Do you know why you’re doing what you’re doing? Is it intentional? Deliberate? Thoughtful? If not, try that one thing. Name your intention each day. For me, my intention is to be present. In presence, I feel God. I feel love. I notice things.
Deepak suggests asking four questions before going into a meditation practice: “Who am I?” “What do I want?” “How can I serve others using my unique talents?” “What am I grateful for?”
I’ve done this practice hundreds of times; it never gets old. These questions seed my consciousness in an expansive way allowing for feelings, sensations, images, and thoughts to come forward and offer me clues on my path in life. These clues and cues help me make better decisions and often help me shift my perception from fear to love.
My husband says, “The quality of your life is based on the questions you ask and the decisions that you make.” I like that. He is a wise one who makes very deliberate decisions that have served us and our family well.
And that leads me to gratitude. This one quality can change everything. If I focus on what’s working and bring a feeling of gratitude and share that with others, I am winning! And we all want to win, don’t we?
Gina Murdock is the founder of Lead with Love, an Aspen-based nonprofit dedicated to shifting culture from fear to love. Lead with Love is hosting The Awakened Society Initiative with Dr. Lisa Miller + Columbia University. Join a stimulating Zoom conversation on the “Awakened Heart; Spirituality in Diversity, Inclusion and Equity” Feb. 7, 5:30-7 p.m. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for more info. Lead with Love and The Aspen Chapel are also hosting Thursday Satsung starting Feb 9 at 5-6:30 p.m. live at Aspen Chapel with Gina and Jerry Murdock. More info at aspenchapel.org.