Marolt: Liberal bias: You what you pay for |

Marolt: Liberal bias: You what you pay for

Roger Marolt
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It is amazing how right and how wrong conservatives can be at the same time. Of course, this means that you pretty much cancel yourself out. It makes you sound out of touch and clueless. It causes you to continually argue in circles. Maybe Republicans should consider this for the next election cycle.

To set the record straight, I'm a little bit country and a little bit rock 'n' roll. My favorite color is neither blue nor red; it's green. My yin and yang are writing and accounting. I have a job and I like to ski moguls. I'm not taking sides here. The other kind of people have hang-ups, too. What follows is only an observation.

Conservatives believe that there is a liberal bias in mainstream media. They are correct about this. They also believe that "the liberal media" are the result of a conspiratorial effort led by the Communists. They couldn't be more wrong about that. I don't care what Reader's Digest says.

Another example is education. Conservatives believe that teachers at all levels of education have a bent toward liberalism. Once again, they are correct about this. However, conservatives also believe that this liberal bias in education is due to a shadow movement engineered by the socialists. They are wrong about that, too.

Conservatives talk about a lot of fields that are dominated by liberals through suspicious means. There's science, which is hung on jiggered-up evidence about global warming and evolution because they are completely theoretical and impractical, to boot. There are artists who risk destroying family values by creating solely to pervert freedom of expression and undermine the Constitution. And then there are the entertainers who are guided by their right-brained tendencies toward free publicity, which is a result of devil worship.

Yes, yes, yes, these are all fields dominated by liberals. No, no, no, it's not due to Dr. Strangemind's master plan to destroy the world inspired by Al Gore speaking on MSNBC.

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The reason that liberals rule these professions is the same reason that they rule almost every field besides business — because conservative people do not encourage their children to pursue careers in these other areas. It doesn't pay. Yes, this is a generalization, but generalizations are money to liberal and conservative media commenters alike, so we can all rest easy.

Everyone knows that most kids who grow up in a solidly conservative household will basically have four college majors to choose from — finance, accounting, marketing or management, maybe engineering, but only electrical or petroleum. Another possible option would be to major in one and minor in another. Of course, this is a great exaggeration to make a point. In reality, many conservative students get outstanding liberal-arts degrees before going on to get their MBAs.

What irony! Conservatives are to blame for the liberal bias in almost everything. I'm not blaming conservatives for this; I just wish they'd stop blaming everyone else.

There are only three solutions I see to get the conservative sway into a greater cross-section of American occupations.

First, we can institute a fascist style of censorship and ban anything slightly liberally offensive. I like this because it still allows liberal people to do what they want to do. All they give up is influence. I mean, really, do we need any more media than Fox, Forbes and The Wall Street Journal anyway?

The second solution is completely impractical and almost impossible to implement, but, what the heck, I'll mention it anyway. Conservative parents could encourage their children to pursue things like writing, teaching, art and science. I'm not talking about doing these things theoretically instead of taking a gap year after high school, either. I mean they could actually do this stuff for a living — and nothing else on the side. Talk about making a sacrifice for your country!

Lastly — and this is completely nonsensical: Conservatives could just stop complaining about the bias we all know exists and live peacefully with it because, frankly, that's just the way it is, and it just isn't that big of a deal. The proof is that we are not governed by a dictator. Besides, it's simply not the American way to sit around and demand that somebody else solve all of your problems for you, right?

Assuming we could successfully integrate conservatism into the mainstream, the downside is that there is going to be a lot more liberal influence in business to fill the gap. Great, now I really have convinced conservatives to stop complaining about this.

Roger Marolt continues to live in a foggy state. He can't see if it's blue or red. Contact him at