Lewis: Traf-icky, traf-ucky
Hmm, what words rhyme with imbecile?
Let’s see: dumb bell, go to hell, criminal
Unforgivable, inexplicable, unthinkable
Despicable — and best of all — reciprocal
The time has come to reciprocate
To reject all responsible for Aspen’s Traffic-Gate
To make them forever wait and wait
To ensure they, too, are way past late
Welcome to Aspen’s No Ideas Festival
Where everyone’s stuck in traffic hell
And commuters from too far away
Drive all night to work all day
But there is a positive side
I learned Russian on one long ride
Then read Crime and Punishment
A story about Aspen’s government
By then I’d crawled ahead from Owl Creek
In traffic squeezed cheek to cheek
All the way to the ABC
So long I stopped thrice to pee
Retail revenues are way, way down
No one wants to crawl into town
Oh, whatever happened to common sense?
(It left — could not afford the rents)
Who is responsible for this?
What morons must voters dismiss?
This really was a bridge too far
Go to hell, whoever you are!