Letter: Reminiscing with Trump
Dear Donald Trump,
Welcome to Aspen, my hometown for the past 50 years.
We’ve met, though you won’t remember me. I interviewed you twice, once on your yacht, The Trump Princess, anchored near the Trump Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey. (I was a commentator for NBC’s coverage of the Tour de Trump bicycle race.) You were late for the interview. Someone said you were in the master suite on the Princess, but as I recall, you were in your office on the yacht, studying the Constitution, which is far more important than meeting with me.
I must admit, I didn’t mind waiting. I was a card-carrying member of “the lowest form of life,” as you affectionately call journalists, and when you’re the lowest form of life, it’s pretty exciting to hang out on a yacht.
While you’re in Aspen, it would be fun to meet again and catch up — reminisce about the wild times you and Ivana had here. (Wow, weren’t those days fun?) And we could talk about our media friends (I think you’d call them friends, too, albeit secretly), like Tom Brokaw, the late Ed Bradley of “60 Minutes” and Sean McManus, former president of CBS News. Even though they also rank among the lowest forms of life, they’re good guys, really. Nonetheless, I do understand they’ll never rank as high as Sean Hannity at Fox. No one could.
By the way, condolences to your friend Roger Ailes, the genius who made Fox News fair and balanced and a TV-ratings juggernaut. Surely you don’t call him “the lowest form of life,” since you wanted him to join your campaign team. It’s so unfortunate Roger had to leave Fox over those trumped-up — oops, sorry about that — I mean contrived charges of sexual harassment. Just because some 20 women alleged sexual misconduct against good old Roger doesn’t mean it’s true. If it were, he really would be the lowest form of life.
Since we likely won’t hang while you’re here, I guess I won’t get to ask you a question that goes all the way back to our yacht meeting. When you were studying the Constitution that day, you must have read as far as the Second Amendment, because lately you’ve reverently referenced it and “the Second Amendment people.” That suggests you also read the First Amendment, the one about freedom of speech and religion and some other stuff.
Since you’re a U.S. Constitution buff (and just plain “buff,” the ladies tell me), I’m eager to hear your take on those guaranteed First Amendment freedoms. Surely, the Founding Fathers didn’t mean freedom of religion for Muslims or freedom of speech for the lowest forms of life. Help me with this, please.
Regardless, have fun while here. And if the Crown family ever decides to sell Aspen, you should buy it. After you’re president, you could reign over Aspen. Locals like the Crowns, but it would be even better to have a king.
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