Letter: On dogs and driving
I love you, Aspen, completely. Absolutely. The air is clean. The rich, the poor, the good, the bad, the ugly. Yep, all of those are here. Love it. Makes life interesting. But I am calling bulls— on Andy Stone and his op-ed piece “Looking around Aspen, I see trouble in Dogtown” (Commentary, The Aspen Times, Aug. 17). Takes all kinds, Andy. Big dogs, small dogs, medium dogs, bad dogs, good dogs, rich dogs, poor dogs. Makes life interesting. I have smaller dogs. Yep, I do. Woogie and Boogie. They are small, but they are all dog. Big-hearted, dog-humping, butt-sniffing boys. My mama always said, “Don’t be fooled by someone’s size.”
Here’s the nice thing about small dogs: They poop less and eat less. That makes them environmentally green. And while I am on the subject of poop, Aspen, we have dogs pooping at random, and ain’t no one picking that s— up. Bet you didn’t know that it got so bad in Laguna Beach, California, that the city hired a company to come in and pick that stank up. Why? Fecal matter has bad stuff in it that leaches into the groundwater. It’s nasty, folks. Frankly, most people are lazy; they don’t want to carry a plastic bag of steaming crap. It just is not in the cards. Think about it, Mr. Mayor — Aspen Poop Patrol. Give some folks who need some extra cash a job. Get that poop off the ground.
Finally, I turn from pups to traffic. Spending $500,000 to do a study on light rail is absurd. Make Highway 82 simple. Two lanes in and two lanes out. Get rid of those S-curves. Make the egress of Cemetery Lane onto Highway 82 a right turn only at peak hours. Heck, make Cemetery Lane go under 82. As Nike so aptly advertised, just do it. Thirty years of studying a problem. Can we say government at its worst? Cars are not going away. Mr. Mayor, have you looked behind the windshields of the folks in the cars? I have, and I see lots of working men and women who are trying to get to their jobs. They want to drive to their jobs, and they have every right to do so. Dang, if I was a dog in the back of a truck just like in the good ol’ days, I would be barking my head off just to get off of Highway 82. By the way, I read that the local government doesn’t want high school seniors to drive to school and park on campus. Give me a break. That is a tradition that is time-honored. Let the kids have the honor of being seniors. Let Aspen High figure out how to get its traffic off of Maroon Creek Road and into and out of their school. Effective government is required in Aspen. It’s gotten beyond ridiculous. Between the poop, the lack of logical decision-making at the local level and the traffic, it’s starting to stink in the best city on the planet. Just sayin’.
Beverle Gardner Ostrofsky
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