Tighten up Aspen color codes

Our brilliant and artistically creative administration and elected government officials seem so excited about the new virus color codes. We citizens and visitors alike awake early each morning anxiously awaiting the city’s announcement of what virus color warning we face.

A delightful shade of green? Foreboding orange? Fearful, frightening red? Or worse? Where can one actually see this “color wheel” or “dial?” Atop City Hall? On a RFTA bus?

Existentially, does it really exist? Color codes make us complacent, not compliant. Rather than this foreboding color wheel object, I have a new, bold, innovative solution. The city communicates the day’s “color” by mandating, each morning at 6:30 a.m., the color of Lululemon (and other brands as well) tights to be worn by our female population. Afterall, these tights are prevalent on our hiking trails, streets and grocery aisles. If a woman is wearing green tights, “bravo!” Orange, “uh oh,” black, “oh no!” What better way to communicate how we are to live our lives, whether you have a job, etc.?

Women wear them, men stare at them. That about covers it, literally and figuratively.

Disclaimer: I take the virus seriously. The color warnings are too desensitizing.

Jeffrey Kallenberg