Put a fork in Aspen steak house | AspenTimes.com

Put a fork in Aspen steak house

I found it interesting in the Saturday paper that Steak 316 is the only business listed with two citations for an unlocked dumpster — a $250 and now a $500 offense (“Aspen police issue unprecedented amount of bear in trash tickets this summer,” Aug. 24, aspentimes.com).

Apparently the manager of Steakhouse 316 tried to scare a 400-pound bear out of the dumpster while taking out the trash. The bear bit him on the leg, which seems to me to be a reasonable response. I mean, WTH would you do if you were enjoying a steak and someone less than half your size startled you, interrupted your meal and then tried to scare you?

Of course, the bear is now dead, but let’s just look at this with some good old-fashioned Star Trek Spock-like logic. You have two life forms — one obviously at the top of its gene pool i.e. successful, 400 pounds, enjoying a good steak and smart enough to know that Steakhouse 316 flaunts the locking of their dumpster in the face of authorities. You then have a humanoid life form, obviously at the bottom of the gene pool, trying to scare a 400-pound bear out of dumpster in a dark alley. Really?

It seems a shame here that Colorado Parks & Wildlife seems to be caught in a natural selection of the species conundrum. Seems normal behavior for the bear to bite that dumb ass on the leg. Like they told my daughter and me at the Sand River Camp in Kenya, this ain’t Disney World.

It’s important to exercise common sense. I also think our default should not be just to murder animals for behaving in what is for them is a totally rational manner. The bear should have gotten a warning and the manager should have been in the public square in a stockade for at least the weekend. Steakhouse 316 should be shut down for a month if they have another offense.

Frosty Merriott


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