Memorializing my plan

On my third day as king, I’ll tell my kingdom’s parks department to set up the bureaucracy to administer a new green city cemetery and zone Deer Hill as such. It’s the perfect spot, just a few miles from the hospital morgue, which keeps bodies nicely chilled and wrapped in cotton ready for the parks department to pick up, transport and bury.

Deer Hill has beautiful views, lots of wild flowers and various critters roaming the surface, and it will never be developed with buildings. Harmony Road wraps around the south and east side offering a great access point.

The prepaid plan with video is good enough for me and should be an option for all in this ever-changing world. Of course, there are rules — no embalming, coffins or upright headstones. Rough horizontal headstones have a maximum size and cannot be polished, which can be defined easily enough by limiting the grit size of the sanding to say 150 or 200 grit or less. Words have a maximum size and must be engraved (LOL). Minimal maintenance just needs to be short term, perhaps planting a few native wildflower seeds or pulling the vagabond thistle because they like disturbed dirt and have a hard time getting established where native plants are already growing.

Tom Mooney