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The beast of Basalt

July 10 timeline

4:40 a.m.: All is quiet in Basalt. The good residents lie in their slumber with no idea what their town government has in store for them this night.

4:45 a.m.: The Beast of Basalt roars to life with glaring lights flashing, a jet engine with brushes, proceeds down Midland Spur and does two turns around Lions Park and then heads off up Midland Avenue to terrorize another part of the town.

4:46 a.m.: The good residents slumber no more.

5:45 am.m: the Beast of Basalt returns to Midland Spur and does a victory lap around Lions Park.

The good residents of Basalt have two questions:

“Really?” — How could anyone with the town of Basalt think that it was a good idea to trot out the beast at such an un-Godly hour? Are you trying to show off your expensive new toy? Do any of you live within earshot of this?

“Why?” — The good residents of Basalt, so rudely awakened in this manner, can only wonder why the town is perpetrating this horror upon them. Are the streets really that filthy to warrant such harsh action against the people of the town? Do the town council and town manager think this is Calcutta?

The good residents of Basalt are pissed off at this punishing abuse meted out by its own town government and demand that it be stopped immediately. Put the beast away and have a couple of guys with a broom and a shovel do the job and let good people get some sleep!

Matt A’Hearn


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