Letter: How the 1 percent lives | AspenTimes.com

Letter: How the 1 percent lives

How the 1 percent lives

What a joy to jet in to my heavenly retreat and spend a few weeks relaxing, visiting with friends here in my third home, entertaining the homies — mostly big-league bankers and Wall Street wizards — who do love to par-tay! So glad you’re here to serve us again, because we definitely need to be serviced, waited on and pampered a tad.

Just want to remind you to be on your best behavior, keep a smile on your face and do your best to avoid eye contact with the guests. We realize you’re working hard at the “real jobs,” producing the goods, services and TLC on which we depend — and making good money (perhaps $30,000 a year?) for that hard work.

Now, please don’t be upset with us for paying ourselves $30 million a year — for producing nothing! That’s right, we produce nothing that people need, nothing real or tangible. Just moving numbers around in computers, manipulating a contrived, fictional money game we made up ourselves. Hey, I have a friend, a hedge-fund manager, who made $300 million last year! Imagine that! And, once again, he produces nothing! What a system — to which we’re desperately clinging.

And if someone tries to tell you that societies with more inequality have higher rates of violence, domestic abuse, prison populations, substance abuse, physical illness, mental illness and school shootings — well, just do what we do. Ignore them. Major buzzkill. Besides, that shouldn’t really affect us in our higher elevation.

OK, just kidding. I’m not in the “1 percent.” Just another debt slave propping up the antiquated structure. Sufficiently drained. Semi-delirious. Had enough feudalism. Looking into the “collaborative commons.” And a “resource-based economy.” Interested.

Steve Saylor

Missouri Heights

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