Going rogue | AspenTimes.com

Going rogue

Presidents Week is approaching, and the crowds on our mountains will predictably be terrorized by straight-lining skiers and boarders ripping through congested “slow zones,” despite patrollers’ unsuccessful efforts to enforce speed control.

Instead of subjecting all to the hazards and havoc created by a few, why not segregate the risk and create designated “fast zones?” Some simple rules would apply to enter these areas:

— No helmets

— No turns

— No health insurance

— Ski width no less than 110 mm

— At least one article of clothing must be unzipped and flapping wildly

— Blood-alcohol level must exceed I.Q. Other mind-altering substances may be substituted on a case by case basis.

— A signed pledge to never accept personal responsibility … for anything

Given the Dunning-Kruger effect in cognitive psychology (whereby people with low ability at a task — in this case skiing/boarding — consistently tend to overestimate their ability), the laws of Newtonian Physics, and Darwin’s cruel, but relentlessly efficient Theory of Natural Selection, this problem should resolve itself over time.

Michael Katz