Dressed to kill on the Rio Grande Trail | AspenTimes.com

Dressed to kill on the Rio Grande Trail

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. COVID-19, or is it cohabitees, or maybe partners, whatever. You have won the pandemic war for the hearts and lungs (literally) of Aspen. Citizens and visitors alike are impressed by your victorious campaign for the judgment of the mayor, city council and city manager. A campaign equal to McArthur’s campaign in the Philippines (he lost but he actually won).

Quietly, behind the scenes, whispering in the ears of our leaders to first “Let it Slide” and then to post signs that, when read, i.e., something about lions, tigers, bears and skiing, are as complex as two pages from James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake.” Brilliant. Eighty years ago, Barbasol shaving cream figured out moving eyes could not absorb more than three words at once. But hey, who reads advertising books?

On my recent trip to Dallas and Houston (better known as the Rio Grande Trail), not one individual wore a mask — well, maybe a few. Although I must give credit where it is due. The visitors were dressed beautifully in their Lululemon outfits. Although one must acknowledge the ultimate COVID-9 statement is a fashionable scarf tied tightly around one’s neck.

Congratulations are also in order for your magic act of having our police and rangers completely disappear from our presence. Unless, of course, there is a minor traffic violation. David Blaine and David Copperfield have been seen in the city’s core taking notes. One final thought, when encountering a “mask zone” on a trail, are you leaving the “zone,” entering the “zone” or already in the “zone?”

So again, congrats to COVID-19 . That high flying, floating fun-loving virus that just wants to be one of us.

Stick to the task — wear a mask.

Jeffrey D. J. Kallenberg


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