Aspen bar exam is over some people’ heads |

Aspen bar exam is over some people’ heads

I won’t begin with the decline of manners and morals; such disparagement has been around for millennia. Let’s just say some eager, situationally unaware riders plunk the safety bar on the chairlifts upon my head, or worse, my thighs. These attention-deficit types drop the bar faster than you can draw a six shooter; and, frankly I’m a little peeved, as the seat barely contacts my glutes, skis and poles still akimbo, then “whack!” Often the lift isn’t even aloft yet, still in the chute.

In an effort to reduce injuries and promote the general rider welfare, I suggest the following protocol:

1. “Howdy, anyone not want the bar down?” Wait for response, then discuss amongst yourselves as needed. Keep in mind that the only ones who want the bar up are either suicidal or hoping to push you off the chair, so majority rules.

2. “OK then, bar coming down, in 3-2-1.” The countdown is the key here.

3. Reverse the protocol at top. “Ready for the bar up everyone?”

4. “OK, Google, bar coming up in 3-2-1.”

Not only is this just plain courtesy and thoughtfulness, but after using the protocol, people express actual gratitude. It’s been a great icebreaker for some amazing convos. They call me the Bar Man.

Ely Brand

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

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