Herr: Tips for holiday celebrations with loved ones living with dementia

For many, the holiday season is a joyful time to gather and celebrate with loved ones. It’s a time for sharing and reconnecting, often with larger groups — and occasional commotion. However, for families affected by dementia, this time of year can be particularly challenging. It’s essential to adapt your holiday celebrations to ensure they’re enjoyable and comfortable for all. Below, we offer a few tips to help create a festive and inclusive atmosphere for everyone during the holidays.

Create a festive yet calm space

Decorating your home for the holidays is a cherished tradition for most, but for those living with dementia, decorations can be overwhelming and sometimes confusing. Here are a few ideas for creating a calm and comfortable environment.

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• Get your loved one involved: Include your family member with dementia in the decorating process as it might bring back fond memories. Keep decorations simple and avoid overwhelming displays.
• Safety first: Be mindful of potential safety hazards. Avoid burning candles and fragile decorations that can easily be reached.
• Soothing sounds: Play familiar holiday music at a relaxing volume to create a warm and inviting atmosphere. Ask your loved ones which songs they enjoy most.

Adapt your holiday activities

To ensure an enjoyable holiday season, consider adapting your usual holiday activities to meet your loved one’s needs.

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• Prepare together: Engage in activities like decorating cookies, opening holiday cards, or creating simple decorations. Focus on the process and be mindful of every moment.
• Small gatherings: Host intimate gatherings to maintain a quiet and relaxed atmosphere.
• Timing matters: Plan holiday events at the best time of day for your loved one as keeping their daily routines intact is very helpful.
• Quiet spaces: If hosting guests, provide a quiet area for your loved one to retreat to when needed. Consider one-on-one visits instead of larger groups.
• Meaningful activities: Engage in meaningful activities like reading a favorite holiday story, reminiscing over photo albums, doing a puzzle, or watching their favorite holiday movies.
• Short Outings: Keep outings brief, whether attending a gathering or going shopping. Plan for rest breaks.

Adjusting travel plans

If traveling to visit loved ones during the holidays, you can still do so with some preparation and realistic expectations.

• Maintain routine: Keep your loved one’s daily routine in mind when making travel plans.
• Direct routes: Plan for the most direct travel route, minimizing layovers.
• Identification: Ensure your loved one wears an identification bracelet with contact information in case of separation.
• Time buffer: Allow extra time during your travels to accommodate the unexpected.

Gift giving ideas

When it comes to gifts, most seniors, especially those in memory care and assisted living, have few material desires. Liz O’Donnell, founder of the online website “Working Daughter,” has sound advice: “Scale everything but the love.” But if you do decide to bestow gifts, consider small, practical and comforting items, like a cozy pair of socks, slippers or gloves. Fingerless gloves work great even with canes and walkers. If your loved one enjoyed gardening, consider a small pot of budding bulbs, like paperwhites, which will bloom weeks after the holidays and offer a daily gift of growth during the spring.

Closing thoughts

The holiday season can be a joyous time for everyone, including your family member living with Alzheimer’s or related dementia, especially if you plan ahead. Simplify your celebrations and set boundaries to minimize stress so you can create a pleasant holiday experience for all.

Marie Herr is the Executive Director of Sopris Lodge at Carbondale, which offers assisted living, memory care, independent living, respite care, and a day retreat. She works closely with families to find solutions that work for aging adults