Too good for bottled water
I like water. It keeps me alive. I like living in Aspen. It’s full of really fantastic people and a whole lot of schmoozers and peacock wallet showoffs, all of whom are harmless in their obviousness, and are easy enough to avoid on any deep level.Hunter Thompson called them greedheads, but I think their heads are rather small, considering how big their bling is. Generally these people have mansions, or are building one – “another middle school on Red Mountain,” as I recently heard someone describe what they look like under construction. Or maybe they are up in Starwood, which has lately been slightly out of vogue, most likely because of the acceleration of this Nazi-like glee for punishing perfectly good drunken drivers even though they are driving on empty mountain roads at 2 a.m., harmless to most everyone but themselves, or other drunken drivers.For whatever reason, close proximity to town – Aspen – has become supremely valuable and über-cool. The greedheads want the town. The more in-town you are, the bigger the dollar sign on your forehead. These people are harmlessly desperate for attention, like the rest of us, but instead of trying to garner interest by having something interesting to say (or in my case just being slightly crazy), these people just get $200,000 cars. Generally, much enjoyment can be gleaned from watching them and allowing them to kiss your ass while they despise you, and mutually demand that we “do something soon.” There is really nothing to this, other than that you both understand that you cannot have too many friends in this town, even ones you are totally bewildered by, and they by you.But I really wanted to talk about water, ballet and the Aspen Music School, officially sponsored by Fiji water. The Aspen Music School is an entity that a member of this community wants to be friendly with. It is better that way. Life is easier. People like you; and people still get murdered all day in Darfur, where Fiji water is as ridiculous as potable tap water, something they have so little of and we have so much of.In fact, as someone who grew up in this funny little mountain town, I really have to say that drinking Fiji water in Aspen is as ridiculous as drinking toilet water in Aspen. We have the best damn mountain drinking water I’ve ever tasted. I love our tap water. I think there is a guy out there who actually bottles it and sells it. They probably have a taste for the stuff in the Hamptons, or some other faraway place full of rich people where it makes no sense to drink water from if you don’t live there.From a greedhead perspective it makes sense that we drink Fiji water in Aspen. It is the crème de la crème of water. It comes all the way from Fiji after all, so it must be special.Yet, if we want to be special in Aspen, then we should stop doing something as stupid as drinking bottled water, especially since our wonderful tap water tastes so good. Isn’t the price tag on our town big enough to give the water from our taps a golden hue? At the music tent watching Al Gore speak, I hope I don’t see anyone drinking Fiji water. If you care about our planet, then why would you drink water which has been packaged in one-time-use bottles, made of petroleum, then transported on giant ships, which burn the nastiest fuel in the world, across the sea, and into a port city where it is loaded onto trucks and moved across our roadways burning nasty exhaust all the way?Why would we drink bottled water at all? We should send all the bottled water in this country to parts of Africa and the rest of the world where the people don’t even have tap water, let alone the privilege to drink it. The word on the street is loud and clear: Bottled water is not cool.Andrew Scott is a resident of Aspen. Editor’s note: “Soapbox” runs on the Sunday opinion page. This spot is a forum for valley residents to comment on local topics. If you’d like to contribute, contact Naomi Havlen at The Aspen Times at 925-3414, ext. 17624, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
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