The heavens are a little cloudy
I sense a new career opportunity unfolding before me. It’s written in the stars, or maybe the want ads.At any rate, I know the chorus from that old Fifth Dimension song, “This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius… .” If that’s not a sign that I have what it takes to write an astrology column, then I don’t know what is. When the heavens are cloudy, I’ll just wing it.Aries – You are about to embark upon a circuitous path. This could be a period of great frustration, especially if you live in the Cemetery Lane neighborhood. Not to worry, the stars will right themselves in a couple of weeks and you will turn left again.Taurus – You begin several weeks of flowing sexual and creative energy. Your common sense may be in retrograde. This could lead to trouble. On the other hand, there is no better time to commit a felony in this corner of the universe, prosecutorily speaking.Gemini – Hunger gnaws and cravings cloud your low-carb convictions. Unfortunately, your favorite restaurants are closed and no dinner train is chugging up the tracks. Fulfill your desires at the local supermarket, where parking is readily available for a change.Cancer – Ursa Major dominates the southern sky, or else she’s in your garbage right now, showing Ursa Minor the ropes. Breathe deep the gathering gloom, then shut the windows. Tonight: a surprise awakening.Leo – You are full of fun and naughtiness (see Taurus). Make a call in the late afternoon, but reach out to another judiciously. You get just the one phone call. Tonight: a moment of self discovery – you look good in orange after all.Virgo – Your generous spirit and frivolous spending are key to your popularity. Tighter purse strings are in order. Pay heed to your inner sense of pending financial doom. Chances are, the price of next winter’s ski pass is going up.Libra – Spring is in the air, but only momentarily. The importance of apparel decisions cannot be overstated. Send your canary out in shorts and it will freeze. Global warming is a myth.Scorpio – Seek out the constellation Scorpius in the desert sky, but make sure it does not manifest itself in your shorts. Resist the urge to upgrade your patio statuary before you go. You don’t need a new mountain bike.Sagittarius – The stars do not align in your favor. Neither does Big Oil. When gas prices top $3 a gallon, you blow a gasket, literally, and get rid of your car. It will look like the Exxon Valdez ran aground on Main Street.Capricorn – Soon, a new path to the world will open in the east. A pass crosses the great divide, speeding your way to the place of many people, cheaper meals, bright lights and brown air. The traveler within cannot resist the chance to escape, nor the urge to return.Aquarius – Soon, a new path to the world opens in the west. A pass crosses the great divide, speeding your way to the place of outrageous prices, trout fishing and an irresistible Gemini. Resistance is futile.Pisces – You can’t shake a troubling sense of dja vu. Yes, you have voted on that before. You can’t shake a troubling sense of dja vu. Yes, you have voted on that before.Janet Urquhart doesnt put a lot of stock in her horoscope. Her e-mail address is email@example.com
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