Su Lum: Slumming | AspenTimes.com

Su Lum: Slumming

Su Lum The Aspen TimesAspen CO, Colorado

I havent made New Years resolutions since I was in seventh grade and made 27 of them. They covered everything from improving my handwriting to being polite to my teachers and, after two weeks of relentless teasing from my peers, I wrote in my diary, My resolutions are ruining my life.Now, 60 years later, I didnt formally resolve anything, but I did give myself a good talking to about getting more organized. At this stage of life, time flies by so fast its hard to remember what decade, much less what year, it is, and if it werent for my pill box I could easily lose track of the days. One of these unorganized days could be the one when a daughter announces, Its time for the home.I spent the weekend avoiding the task of disposing of my 2006 files, replacing them with 2008 and starting new ones for 2009, preparatory to gathering my tax information. This is one of one of those tasks that can hang overhead until April 15 looms; I could probably do it all in under two hours. Get organized!My dachshund Freddie needs his toenails clipped and I should make an appointment before hes crippled by his talons. He had them clipped once at the vets, and I doubt theyll try that again without knocking him out. His brother Nicky, alarmed by Freddies screams two rooms away, let loose his anal sacs when it was his turn, so were talking a sizable bill. My friend Roger uses a grinder, as advertised on TV, on his dachshund Sam, but I can just imagine the reaction if he came at one of my guys with that buzzing thing. Freddie would probably have a stroke.The puppies will be three in March, hard to believe.My friend Hilary Burgess moved in with us in September, while her trailer in Woody Creek was replaced by a brand-new modular home. After the usual complications, the modular was delivered in mid-January and is presently in the La Brea tar pit of plumbing, gas and electrical connection complications. While here, she has acted as personal assistant, handy-woman and dog-walker and were all going to miss her. All the more reason to get organized.The puppies will especially miss her 12-year-old cat Eliot; they are scratching at the door of Hilarys room/my office as I write. Freddie has a fascination with Eliots covered cat box, sits at its door looking longingly inside, while Nicky is still totally obsessed with The Kitty.Attempts to get them to all just get along ended badly. In his last direct interaction with Eliot, Nicky did not draw blood but he drew a mouthful of fur and was banished from The Kittys room altogether. Nicky is very fast for a chunky dog, and wily even by dachshund standards. When Hilary emerged from her room in the morning he would fly past her and dive under the bed, where he would lie in wait for Eliot to get down off the bed to use the facilities. This led to several accidents on the bed, Eliot being smarter than to fall for that trick.We now have a mop under the bed. No more threats, cajoling or promises of treats, a deep swipe with the mop and out pops Nicky. Were making progress, but Eliot cant wait to move into his own home. He is composing his list of demands and retaliations ( and I want my own bed, I want my kitty fountain back, and if I dont get it Ill crap in all of your shoes.).I was going to write about the expense of Obamas upcoming coronation until I heard that a 30-second ad spot during the Super Bowl is selling for $3 million. Everything is relative, and at least the inauguration is a national gala and if ever there was the right time for a celebration this is it. But during these hard times I think we should at least scrap some of the fireworks and give the money to the City Council members, the most overworked and underpaid employees in Fat City.A couple of days ago I realized that my drivers license expired on Dec. 21 so much for getting organized.

Su Lum is a longtime local who could have written a more organized column, which appears every Wednesday in The Aspen Times.


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