Meredith C. Carroll: Meredith Pro Tem
August 4, 2009
A recent study from the Pew Research Center confirmed that memoirs have officially replaced oversized sunglasses and children adopted from Third World countries as the new It accessories in Hollywood.Last month, Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden told People magazine he’ll be throwing his fedora into the memoir ring. The boyfriend of Lionel Richie’s daughter, Nicole Richie, with whom he is expecting a second out-of-wedlock child this summer, has said his book would be about “kids, relationships … the big changes.” Although the field of kids, relationship and big changes books is already crowded with the likes of Deborah Tannen, John Gray, Rosalind Wiseman, Dr. Seuss and the Book of Genesis, Madden says his will be different.”I want every page to mean something,” he explained. “Like, there’ll be a question and answer on each one, maybe with a deep, hidden meaning that you need special glasses to find. Or Sudoku puzzles.”Although some might expect a rocker of his stature to have some juicy skeletons in his closet, Madden’s actually doesn’t contain a whole lot of meat since he’s a vegetarian and abstains from alcohol. Regardless, all four of his fans are said to be eagerly anticipating the book’s release. The 9-year-old girl from the Oscar-winning “Slumdog Millionaire” just released an autobiography of her first nine years. She writes about how many times she had her diaper changed when she was a baby. She also attempts to recall the circumstances surrounding each burp since she’s been born and counts how many days it’s been since she learned to write (and read). When the paperback version eventually hits bookstores, it will include a preface detailing what she’s eaten every day between the release of the first and second editions. Her editor reportedly has a mathematician on retainer to ensure all calculations are accurate.One of Hugh Hefner’s former live-in girlfriends, Kendra Wilkinson, announced plans to pen a book about her 24 rotations around the sun (although she has yet to verify which thing in the sky the sun actually is). Philosophers are anxiously awaiting any words of wisdom from Wilkinson, such as some of her past gems like, “Losing stinks.” And historians are hopeful that she’ll share some insight into the Playboy empire that hasn’t already been revealed on five seasons of the reality show, “The Girls Next Door,” co-starring its founder. “Hugh Hefner doesn’t have his nose up in the air like every other rich guy … we go to McDonald’s all the time,” Wilkinson once profoundly disclosed. The book is due out next summer, with the coloring book version expected by Christmas 2010.Former “Beverly Hills, 90210” starlet Tori Spelling published two books in the past year, with one earning the distinction of Best Celebrity Autobiography at the Bravo A-List Awards earlier this year (although it’s unclear if she received it because she was the only nominee who actually showed up at the ceremony). Her estranged mother Candy (who made a name for herself by bizarrely dedicating an entire room in her 56,500-square-foot mansion to gift wrapping as well as writing a series of bizarre open letters to her daughter about their estrangement) also came out with a book this spring, “Stories from Candyland,” with a whole chapter devoted to her gift-wrapping room and another to her estrangement from her daughter.Feeling a little left out, Tori’s husband and co-star in the Oxygen reality show, “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood,” Dean McDermott, is planning his own book so that he can attempt to at least pay one household bill annually.On their show, McDermott inexplicably whines a lot in Canadian about his passion for his family (minus the son by the wife he left after having an affair with Tori) and family friendly hobbies (scuba diving, motorcycle racing and tattoos). He’s said to be compiling a picture book filled with tattoos of families riding underwater motorcycles.But the most anticipated celebrity tome is from Hollywood A-lister Kate Hudson. One publisher said the divorced mom is shopping around a manuscript titled, “How to Date in the Public Eye When You’ve Got a Kid.” The book’s subtitle is, “It’s never too early or inappropriate to introduce your little one to yet another fly-by-night suitor.” Included in the book will be the scores of pictures that have been featured in the entertainment weeklies of the scores of dates Hudson’s been on with her 5-year-old son and her revolving door of high-profile beaus, including actor Owen Wilson, cycling champ Lance Armstrong, actor Owen Wilson, actor Dax Shephard, actor Owen Wilson and now Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez. Look for the masterpiece in bookstores just as soon as Hudson gets back together with actor Owen Wilson when baseball season ends and she and her son can no longer be photographed cheering on A-Rod.
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