Maybe the Luddites had it right |

Maybe the Luddites had it right

Barry Smith

Aspen, CO Colorado2006 was a huge year for me. Here’s proof, broken down month-by-month, in a little feature called … “The Irrelativity 2006 (personal) Year in Review”JanuaryI decide that, instead of sitting down and doing this year in review column in late December, I’ll start making little notes at the end of each month, so when the actual end of 2006 rolls around, I’ll just run a quick spell-check on all the stuff I’ve written during the year, send it in as my column, then go back to bed. So, on January 31 I open a Word file, title it “2006 Yeer in Review” and save it to my “Columns in Progress” folder. As I’m closing the folder I notice that I’ve misspelled “Year,” but I’ll deal with that in another 11 months or so.FebruaryHeeding the prompting of my computer calendar reminder, the one that I’ve programmed to pop up with a “Write this months summiry” every 30 days, I open up the “Yeer in Review” file and type: “I spelled ‘summary’ wrong in the calendar reminder, and I’m pretty sure ‘months’ should have had an apostrophe. I suppose I should fix that. Maybe in March.”MarchThe “summiry” reminder pops up and I click on the “Snooze” option, scroll down past “15 minutes,” past “1 hour,” past “Tomorrow morning,” all the way down to “4 days.” I repeat this for the entire next month, about 7 times total.AprilClicked “Dismiss” as soon as the notice came up. Wrote nothing.MayWith no notice to dismiss, and my January enthusiasm far behind me, there wasn’t even the slightest chance that I would enter anything for this month.JuneSummer. Who has time to do journal entries? What do you want to know? It was warm. I wore shorts. Big deal.July(See June)AugustWhile searching through my “Columns in Progress” folder, desperate for a column idea, I came across the “Yeer in Review” file, and I suddenly remembered the ongoing project that was by this point long-forgotten. I didn’t open it, but I did click on the file name and correctly spell “Year.” Since I wasn’t going to do that until December, I figured this put me way ahead of the game.SeptemberWhat can you say about this month? It’s not quite August, and it’s not quite October. Which is to say, I wrote nothing, I remember nothing. It could very well be that I did nothing – in which case my having not written it down was not an act of laziness so much as an act of expertly capturing in words the essence of my experience. I like that.OctoberNow we’re getting into the “just a few months ago” realm, so I do have some memories of October. Late October. Probably more like early November, now that I think about it. So I should just get right to that month.NovemberEvery November for the past few years, I wait for a dull, dreary and drizzly day and I play the Tom Waits’ song, “November” several times in a row. You should check it out of you haven’t heard it. It has a musical saw in it. Very cool. But don’t listen to it if it isn’t November. I suggest entering it in your computer’s calendar so it will pop up and remind you next November. This method obviously works for me. Apart from that song, not much else happened. I probably put away some lawn furniture, but that’s hardly worth writing about.DecemberYou’d think this one would be easy. I mean, it was, like, yesterday, right? But the only thing that’s coming to mind right now is that I opened up a new file and called it “2007 Year in Review” and wrote, “January – this year things will be different.”

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