Kissing 2005 goodbye
Almost everyone I know has written me an e-mail to see what I’m doing for New Year’s, but they’re all bitching about it. My dear friend Lisa summed it up this way: “I always force myself to get really drunk with the expectation that something magical is going to happen and then I just feel fat and bloated.”Lisa, honey, I couldn’t have said it better myself.But for once I’m actually optimistic about New Year’s. Part of it is that I’m more than happy to kiss 2005 goodbye. Let’s just say it does not go down as the best year for the ol’ Princess. Naturally, nothing really worked out the way I thought it would, as in my way. I spent half the year living in a dream world, and the other half suffering from the hangover of my brutal little wake-up call. Like, I still live in an industrial park with my psychotic dog – no house on Red Mountain, no rich husband and no private jet. Life is just so not fair!It’s always, “This is going to be the year I’m going to fall in love,” or “This is the year I’m going to sell my book.” Instead, it was the year my boyfriend decided to move back to Boston, the year I got my heart broken, the year I didn’t even come close to selling my book yet because it’s not even close to being finished, and the year my dog decided to do his own renovations to my house and tear up all the doors and windows. Thank god my dad is a shrink who can hook me (and my dog) up with free drugs. Otherwise, I probably would have ended up in a room somewhere with padded walls, where no one could hear me banging my fists and having the biggest tantrum of my life.I figure it can only get better because it sure as hell isn’t going to get any worse. It’s sort of a reverse optimism. Let’s just say it’s impossible to be disappointed when you have no expectations. I’m thinking maybe the sun is finally going to come out and shine on my little head, although that might be the drugs talking – I seriously can’t believe this stuff is legal. I’ve been like, high for the past two months.On a positive note, there were a few good things that did happen:THE BEST DAY: Powder posse at Highlands and being one of the first to ride the new Deep Temerity lift. Let’s just say the Princess is all about going deep.THE BEST EVENT: Sitting on beanbag chairs drinking a cosmo with Candace Bushnell, the original writer of “Sex and the City,” at the Hotel Jerome for the Aspen Writers’ Foundation event. I wore my new leopard print platform shoes with the big flower on the toe I bought specifically for our meeting. After getting advice from the One and Only about how to carry the torch of Chick Lit, my life felt complete. “You can’t drop the ball on me now,” she yelled when I mentioned the idea of post-feminism. “We have so not gotten there yet! I’m counting on you. And by the way, I love your shoes.” THE BEST EXPERIENCE: Who would have ever thought I was the charitable type? Throwing the “Princess in Pink” party at the Sky Hotel was like being Cinderella and getting to play with beautiful clothes, diamonds and hot rugby boys. “It’s like your wedding,” my parents said. “It’s the closest I’m probably ever going to come to a wedding day living in this town, so I hope you enjoyed it,” I replied. “Not to mention, it didn’t cost you a dime!” Talk about a good cause.THE BEST BREAK: Back in January, I got a random e-mail from a travel editor at The New York Times asking me if I’d be interested in writing for them. “Are you #@$%!! kidding me?” I replied, wondering how in the world I would actually be able to pull it off.THE SECOND-BEST BREAK: The sports editor of the Denver Post e-mailed me to see if I might be interested in writing a weekly column, and p.s., would I mind if he came to Aspen to meet me and maybe go snowboarding for the day? Let’s just say it was one of the easiest, and most pleasant, job interviews I’ve ever had.THE BEST EASY OUT: I seem to have inherited my grandmother’s penchant for not paying her taxes. Don’t get me wrong, I file extensions and have an accountant and all that, but it’s just one of those things that never gets done, kind of like folding the laundry or returning a video on time. I just never seem to get around to it. My mom’s bugging me all the time, going, “I had this nightmare last night that you went to jail for not paying your taxes.” And my dad’s second-favorite question to “Did you get your oil changed?” is, “Did you pay the IRS yet?” Then the other day I get this check in the mail for like two G’s, and I keep getting these letters from them that say things like, “This is not a bill. We have credited your account” and so on and so forth. I guess you could say I have them so spun they’re wrapped around my little finger.See, it’s not all bad. The one thing I can say for sure is it’s only gonna get better.The Princess plans to be in like six places at once on New Year’s Eve, so keep your eyes peeled. Send your best wishes to firstname.lastname@example.org
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Vignettes of life in the valley. Some you may have heard; hopefully, others will be new.