It’s a good thing I’m not famous | AspenTimes.com
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It’s a good thing I’m not famous

Janet Urquhart

I’ve decided I’m the consummate Aspenite – oblivious to the glitterati in our midst. Hell, I’m so nonchalant, I don’t know a celeb when I see one.Of course, it’s not like the jet set and I cross paths all that often. About the time they’re being seated for dinner in some swank restaurant, I’m thinking about heading off to bed without flossing, because I’m too tired to make the effort.But when I encountered a crowd of gawkers and paparazzi outside a local jewelry store one night this week, I figured I’d stumbled upon some serious star power. I’m talking onlookers. I’m talking a cluster of those camera-toting celebrity trackers who snap unexceptional photos of people doing unexceptional things so we can pass the time looking at the pictures while we’re standing in the ridiculous lines at City Market.So, like a lesser mortal, I pressed my nose against a pane of Cooper Avenue glass for a glimpse of, I dunno, Brad picking up some new bling for Jen or something. I figured somebody of Julia Roberts’ stature was going to pop out onto the sidewalk and flash a smile that would make the Tooth Fairy woozy.Instead, I saw a small group of the beautiful people dressed in “Aspen chic” milling about. I recognized no one, but I figured I was supposed to, so I stood there, mesmerized by no one in particular. Someone in the crowd muttered something about Barbara Walters, so I scanned the store’s clientele anew, now that I had a clue. No one looked remotely like Barb, so I finally stepped away from the window and admitted defeat.”So what’s up?” I asked, conceding my ignorance.”Mariah Carey’s in there!” someone informed me excitedly.Much to my amusement, some old fart in the crowd asked, “Who the hell is Mariah Carey?”The guy is standing out in the cold, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone he’s never heard of? Finally, someone trumps me in the chump department. At least I recognized the name, if not the face. Admittedly, I wouldn’t know Mariah Carey if she knocked on my door and I wouldn’t know a Mariah Carey song if she sang it to me in person.I had to log onto the Internet the next day and look her up, just to confirm I’d seen someone in the store who remotely resembled the face on her website. Yes, I believe it was Mariah. At least, the woman I spied looked a lot more like the singer than she looked like Barbara Walters.Anyway, I wandered home thinking about what a pain it must be to cause a sensation everywhere you go. Imagine not being able to duck into the grocery store in baggy sweat pants and a frayed T-shirt for an Eskimo Pie without winding up on a tabloid cover.It’s a good thing I’m not talented and beautiful. Fame and fortune would cramp my lifestyle.Janet Urquhart has something Mariah doesn’t – anonymity. Her e-mail (Janet’s) is janet@aspentimes.com


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