I’m rubber, you’re glue … | AspenTimes.com
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I’m rubber, you’re glue …

While I don’t want to raise my hopes too high, the 2007 Pulitzer Prizewinners will be announced on Monday and I’ve been thinking there’s a chance my name will be among those called at the awards ceremony.Which of the columns I’ve written that has the potential to take first prize is anyone’s guess. After all, judging by the feedback I’ve received from fans of Meredith Pro Tem, each finely crafted piece of my writing could be considered a winner.My Oct. 28, 2006, column, “A house full of memories,” provoked a powerful reaction from one reader, who commented, “Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.” A recent piece (“I’m not a nagger – am I?” March 31, 2007) moved another reader to tears and to comment on my good fortune at the same time: “Waaaah. You’re lucky to have anyone who will put up with your incessant complaining.”It would be helpful if the Pulitzer judges would take into consideration the sincere thoughtfulness of my followers, one of whom cared enough to pass along a phone message: “‘Beginning, middle and end’ called. They said your columns don’t have them.” Another requested insight into my self-reflection process, asking, “Would you categorize yourself as being ‘high maintenance?'”As devoted readers of this column know, my writing is not intended for the faint of heart. A piece I wrote on December 26, 2006, (“But wait, there’s more!”) proved that, inspiring both a declaration of religious zeal and a death confession from one reader: “For the love of Christ – can’t you find anything to write about other than your own personal gain? Blah, blah, blah. Enough! We’re dying for something worth reading on a Saturday.”Speaking of Christ, my August 26, 2006 column – “Holy Cheesus: Saintly Sightings” – propelled a reader named Abe Gavoda to send an e-mail request: “Lay off with the anti christian [sic] haterd [sic] yolur [sic] just being a bigot.”After reading my January 13, 2007 column, “Toeing an undesirable line,” one supporter hinted I might consider expanding my repertoire and join the cast of the popular CBS’ reality program, “Survivor,” writing: “Doesn’t the existing demographic get to vote on whether you get in or not? Let’s vote her off the island! We don’t want her!”Often times my groupies garner such a wealth of inspiration from my columns that they find themselves at a loss for words, like the person who commented following the publication of my February 10, 2007 piece (“Why rehab is the new black”): “REHAB blah blah blah REHAB blah blah blah I THINK blah blah blah REHAB … when can we hope to have a writer for Saturday columns?”My column from October 21, 2006, “Random Acts of Rudeness,” generated enormous buzz. One admirer wondered if, in fact, there would be a celebration in my honor and praised my ingenuity: “Don’t recall invites being sent out, so feel free to move on any time you’re ready … I found your little ‘story’ to be very one-sided and highly elaborated to create what you would probably consider ‘good journalism.'”Regarding the same column, a reader expressed genuine concern over my state of mind and offered a glimpse into his own: “What a miserable article from an obviously miserable person … Not only is your article a disgusting display of self serving bias, but it’s not even well written, creative or entertaining … Next time please keep it to yourself, the rest of us have our own problems.” Another echoed a similar sentiment, and suggested, “If you have nothing nice to say … you’re probably as miserable as everyone else thinks you seem.”It’s not uncommon for readers of this column to articulate their trepidation about my general well-being. Last year a fan feared “Meredith … must have been starved for an idea when she wrote this article.”Fans also frequently assess my talents, as evidenced by the one who noted, “[Her] poor attempt at humor is only exceeded by her ignorance.” Then there was the Meredith Pro Tem enthusiast who clearly sought to test either my sight or reading comprehension skills, perhaps worried that one or both were lacking. He wrote: “LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSERRRRRRRRRRR.” Another admirer had the same concerns about my reading abilities, remarking, “The author of this article is kind of illiterate.”One reader sweetly reminded me that my fan base is not limited to the Roaring Fork Valley: “By the way if you find that Aspen is too big for you and your head … just do me a favor and don’t move to Denver … because we don’t want you here.”Of course the scope of my devotees is wider than those who live in Aspen, Denver and those who e-mail and post anonymous comments. Following a column I penned about Anderson Cooper on May 20, 2006 (“The disappearing anchorman”), a fellow named Anderson Cooper communicated to me his kind regards, saying, “I hope you are not as snarky in real life as you are in print. I wish you well.”Avid Celine Dion fans also track my column each week. One contacted me following the publication of a column last June (“Under bridal magazine hypnosis”) and inquired about the state of my relationship with my now-husband, asking “Who are you to say that someone’s husband is creepy? Celine has the right to choose whomever she feels comfortable with. And how’s YOUR love life anyway to make money off these couples?”Mention of my husband in columns frequently prompts reader reaction, including from the woman who wrote and asked because she wanted to know, but was “not sure if you’re a jerk as your husband apparently has suggested.”How the Pulitzer judges could possibly elevate one of my columns above the others is beyond me (and, presumably, my faithful following). So, wish me luck on Monday. Although who needs luck when you have a body of work like mine – or, as one supporter recently classified it, “absolute drivel.”On second thought – just in case – my fingers are crossed.E-mail questions or comments to meredithccarroll@hotmail.com.


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