Hisses, kisses and unadulterated trivia | AspenTimes.com

Hisses, kisses and unadulterated trivia

Su Lum
The Aspen Times
Aspen CO Colorado

My friend Hilary and I hiked ourselves over to the Federal Express office across from City Market (in transition), with my Sequal Eclipse oxygen concentrator and its two batteries and two adaptors, to be shipped to American Medical Supply in Centennial, Colo., for repairs. Included was one of my Helios tanks that had fallen out of my backpack and snapped off one of its prongs, so we had a substantial accumulation.

Unfazed, my man Scott at FedEx had that $5,000 worth of equipment bubble wrapped, plastic-peanutted and strapped into a sizeable carton before Hilary had finished filling out the form. Zip, zip. $45. Way to go, Scott.

Trivia question: Can you find the arrow in the Federal Express logo? Once you get it, you’ll always see it.

• • • • 

This kudo is a little late coming, but after that really huge dump of snow a few weeks ago the streets department did a fabulous job of plowing. All the main streets, all the side streets and even my alley were plowed clean the next morning. Hip hip hooray!

• • • •

Watch how fast the Wienerstube goes down.

• • • •

I wonder how many old-timers are having second thoughts about leaving their homes or properties to local nonprofits and good causes. We’ve seen good intentions run amok all over town, with the latest atrocity being the Music Festival’s plan to sell Fred Lane’s house to help pay for more luxurious digs for their CEO.

The MAA’s position seems to be that people give them stocks, and when the market changes they sell the stocks and what’s the dif? The dif in this case is in the irony. Fred Lane was, even in the heyday of Aspen’s egalitarian era before the egos hit the fan, the most humble, self-effacing, gentle, soft-spoken, unpretentious and overwhelmingly generous gentleman in town. He volunteered an abundant amount of his time and resources to the MAA in the decades of its formative years.

To sell it for the purpose of uber-digs for the current CEO is tantamount to spitting in Fred Lane’s eye. He’d never say it, but I’ll say it for him. Spend the money on the student scholarships or the lemonade stand.

It goes on and on. Think Silver Lining Ranch, now to be another mega-home. Think selling Ruth Whyte’s home and using the profits to destroy the Stallard House (this was before, I stress, the current great staff at the Historical Society). Think Elizabeth Paepcke’s gift of the Given Institute land.

Watch how fast the Given goes down.

• • • •

With just a small bit of excavating, the present two-car parking place in front of the library could be turned into angle parking for four or five. Used to be you could park free in the parking garage and take the elevator (with an indecipherable cockpit) to the library. Whatever happened to that, hey?

• • • •

I am delighted to report that the Source Gas billing department was extremely kind to me following my fortnight of furnace problems and seven service visits, three of them after hours. Thanks, guys!

• • • •

There’s been a lot of noise about the Aspen Area Community Plan, which all boils down to one thing. The development proponents want it to be an advisory guide and the other side wants it to be a regulatory guide. Just as any pretense of historic preservation is meaningless if it isn’t enforceable, the AACP is useless if it’s just advisory. That’s been the problem all along with the AACP in the past. I’m hoping that the City Council will have the guts to give the AACP real teeth, but this is election time and Mick Ireland, especially, has been taking a surprisingly conciliatory tone of late, reaching across the aisle. Who gets picked to replace Dwayne Romero on council will indicate which way the wind is blowing.

• • • •

Speaking of teeth, it’s too bad the bones unearthed in Snowmass Village were those of mammoths rather than mastodons. The word mastodon means “nipple tooth,” and we could have made a lot of that in the local naming contests.

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