Heres to having class this spring | AspenTimes.com

Heres to having class this spring

Barry SmithAspen, CO Colorado

The spring session just began at Colorado Mountain College!If you havent registered yet, dont fret. Its still not too late.Below are some of my favorite class descriptions from the latest CMC catalog and I happen to know that they still have a few empty seats left!SPA 99 Thinking about taking a Spanish class some dayThis course is a facilitated discussion for those who occasionally think that they really should learn some Spanish some day. Topics covered include how good of an idea it would be to learn Spanish, how handy it would be to at least know a few phrases, and how, if things werent so busy right now, it really would be great to get around to taking that class some day.No Spanish speaking skills required (or tolerated). No text required.CIS 50 Learn How To Use a Freakin Computer Already!Provides the beginning computer-user with the badgering, sarcasm and humiliation necessary to get his ass in gear and learn to work a computer. Hands-on experience will guide students through the use of these fancy new computer things that all the kids seem to be into. Course highlights include pointing angrily at the keyboard, screen and mouse, and yelling, I said double click! DOUBLE click! What the hell is your problem?EFA 250 CPR to CCRAs part of the popular Learnin to the Oldies, series, emergency cardiopulmonary resuscitation procedures will be taught while the classic rock sounds of Creedence Clearwater Revival blare in the background. Other courses in this series include CPA to CSNY, EMT to ELO, AA to ABBA and, for the kids, ESL to RZA.GEY 101 An Introduction to GeologyThis course is not about geography its the study of geology. Students should have this clear in their head before their first class. Geography is the study of rocks and mountains and stuff. No, wait. Thats geology. Ugh I always get those two confused. I mean, I totally know the difference, I just have to really think about which is which sometimes. Students should probably wait until after the first class to purchase their text.EL103 Developing an Enthusiasm For WeldingWelding! How cool is that? You take two pieces of metal and, well, WELD them together. Like gluing, only with molten metal. Cool! Its like magic, in a way, dont you think? Plus, you get to wear those awesome masks that make you look like an evil villain. Really, what could be cooler than welding?Prequisite: The ability to weld. A lack of enthusiasm for it.GCM 120 Golf ManagementAn overview of the basics of managing a golf course clubs, balls, bags, carts, grass and the proper iced-tea/lemonade ratio for making an Arnold Palmer.Prerequisite: BMT 120 Badminton ManagementIND 120 Suburban OrienteeringBecome familiar with mall navigation. Learn to orient yourself using reliable landmarks Gap, Sears, J.C. Penney, food court. Never take another unnecessary escalator trip.Prerequisite: IND 110 Orange Julius The Mall CompassDAN 129 Introduction to Dancing Outside of the HouseDance like no one is watching or so the saying goes. But why is it that when you do, everyone turns to watch you dance? Topics covered include overbite, yelling woo at appropriate times and throwing your hands in the air and waving them (lack of caring covered in DAN 130).MAT 210 Calculus IIIPrequisite: algebra I, II, III; geometry I, II, III; trigonometry I, II, IIICaptivating topics include vectors, vector-valued functions, and multivariable calculus including partial derivatives, multiple integrals. Youve stopped reading this and skipped to the page with all the ceramics courses already, havent you? Cmon, take this course! Please? Its really fun. Sometimes the teacher shows videos. Please? Text required: Well, usually, yes, but, what the heck not this semester! We dont need stinkin books. Well hold class outside on nice days! Pleeeeease?Barry Smiths column appears on Mondays.


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