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Caught in the clutches of YouTube

Barry Smith
The Aspen Times
Aspen,CO Colorado

Just when I managed to finally wrest myself from the time-wasting grip of Wikipedia (because who doesn’t suddenly have the urge to read lots of flimsily cited information about, say, Mr. Magoo?). I land directly in the clutches of YouTube.

Out of the http://www.fryingpan.com and into the http://www.fire.com. I’ve been perusing YouTube for an average of about 13 hours a day for the better part of a week, and I’ve gleaned three very important facts about myself and the world in general.

They are, in order:

1) Given a forum in which one can, with a very limited budget, create and present a video that has the potential to literally reach millions ” and given the topics available to be addressed in video format, like education, uncovering social injustices, political corruption exposes and pressing local and national issues ” most people opt to post videos of their dogs barking at vacuum cleaners.

2) When it comes right down to it, I like to watch videos of dogs barking at vacuum cleaners a lot more than I like watching videos about social injustice, etc.

3) The YouTube comments section is a very good argument against the theory of evolution. After a particularly nasty YouTube binge, I had a Twilight Zone-like thought: What if YouTube had been around for a long, long time and some of the more important moments in history had been captured on video and posted there? What sort of comments would people have posted?

No, really… what if…

A static camera captures the time lapse creation of the great pyramid of Giza. The second half of the video is an interview with the architect and building contractor, who each reveal the secrets of the brilliant and mysterious construction technique.

POST A COMMENT

3litepker (one hour ago): awesome cool man :D:D ” check out my page too

imthevictim31789 (two days ago): I hate Egyptians ” fags ” lol

Herodotus111 (two days ago): She’s not Puerto Rican she’s Egyptian moron

WhatWouldBinkyDo (four days ago): That one chick carrying the water iz damn hot I luv Puerto Rican chicks

Filmed by a bystander in Dealey Plaza, Nov. 22, 1963. The video clearly shows a man standing on a grassy knoll firing a rifle toward the road. He then disassembles it, shoves it into a duffle bag, hops a fence and gets into a waiting car. The camera zooms in on the license plate just before the car pulls away.

POST A COMMENT

Cooolstorm (14 minutes ago): =] Love it I was so Amazin =]

mattnbren (eight hours ago): 2:04 hahahhahahahahah

yuyuaaron (two days ago): OKAY THIS IS BORING! u should do another one! But please improve the video quality.

imthevictim31789 (one month ago): I hate covert government assassins ” fag ” lol

An angel appears and easily rolls a gigantic stone away from a cave entrance. Jesus emerges, looking pretty good, considering. The camera follows as He visits his old friends, then shows Him floating up into the sky.

POST A COMMENT

logik1205 (27 minutes ago): lol good shyt

Gatusso2000 (30 minutes ago): I love the expression of the guy in the background.

pao13pao (34 minutes ago): Heellll yeah

RamadiTV (three days ago): Hiz hair iz soo hot lol

anquaaba (three days ago): now if you stared reading this don’t stop its really scarey! OK send this to five other videos in 143 minutes. When you are done press F6 and your crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters. This is weird because it does work. If you break this chance you wont have a crush in the next five years

imthevictim31789 (five days ago): I hate resurrections ” fag ” lol


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