Barry Smith: A special recipe for randomness |

Barry Smith: A special recipe for randomness

Hey, check it out: Some seemingly random writings from all the little nooks and crannies where I keep such things. I say “seemingly” random because unless you pay close attention you’ll miss the profound message that this body of work, when viewed as a whole, has to offer. Happy searching.


THINGS I WANT (From my collection of lists):

A sandwich

Creative fulfillment

The ability to focus

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More ketchup

Passion and conviction while allowing others to experience their desires


A new computer

Some almonds


All the endorphin rush of exercise without having to put my special shoes on


Another sandwich, as I finished the first one long ago


I stood before the All Powerful Being and was prompted:

“You are allowed one question. Ask it.”

I replied, “I have no question.”

“No question?”

“No, but I do have some suggestions for future projects.”


I think, therefore I’m right.

I think, therefore certain career options are closed to me.

I think, therefore I think you suck.

I think, therefore I don’t get much done.

I think, therefore I think about sex.


I gave the convenience store clerk a dollar and asked for change.

He opened the register drawer, put my dollar in and closed the drawer.

He said to me: “Change comes from within.”

I thought he was being all cosmic and mystical

Letting me know that the only real path to change is to change my own thoughts.

But then he pulled three quarters, two dimes and a nickel out of his ass

And handed them to me.


I just paid more for a pack of cigarettes than I ever have in my life ? $6.15.

The man at the tobacco stand asked if I worked in the hotel ? probably because I’m dressed like a restaurant manager and am wearing one of those headset radios.

I couldn’t lie to him, mostly out of fear of my ability to come up with a quick answer to his obvious follow-up question. I was in Vegas, I couldn’t fake it ? time to pay tourist prices.

My spineless honesty cost me a thirty-cent discount.

Which would have still meant paying more for a pack of cigarettes than I ever have in my life.


(From a recent journal entry)

The bright sun is reflecting off this page and hurting my eyes. I am inspired to write if only to put some black on the page to dampen the reflection. If I really wanted to write, really go to town without pausing to self-edit, I think the ultimate motivator would be to use a fine-tip marker on aluminum foil ? shiny side up. On a bright summer day I could make a serious dent in a novel.

[Barry Smith’s column runs in The Aspen Times on Monday and Thursday. His e-mail address is, and his very own Web page is at]

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