Andy Stone: A Stone’s Throw | AspenTimes.com

Andy Stone: A Stone’s Throw

Andy Stone
The Aspen Times
Aspen, CO Colorado

Is Barack Hussein Obama a Muslim?

Of course he is.

Just look at his name. What more proof do you need? Are you suicidal?

Can 30 percent of Americans be wrong? No way!

He might as well call himself President Abbu Jihadi. In fact, I’m pretty sure that really is his name.

Why else would he be hiding his birth certificate?

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And that, as one of my respected fellow journalists on Fox News recently pointed out, raises the question of why he was so careful to conceal his religious beliefs during the presidential campaign.

Oh, sure, we got to endlessly discuss his so-called minister – that raving anti-American Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. of the Trinity United Church of Christ.

“Trinity United Church of Christ.” Now there’s an obvious front for radical Muslim jihad.

It is a little ironic that Obama-Jihadi almost didn’t get elected because his fake minister went off the deep end with anti-American rants.

Of course, as careful investigation would undoubtedly reveal (if I only had the time to do some investigation – but, really, why bother when the results are already so obvious), Obama-Jihadi was so busy praying to Allah that he didn’t listen to Wright’s ravings.

In fact, as eye-witnesses would most certainly tell us (if we had the time to find them and ask), Obama couldn’t hear those rants because he was lying flat on the floor, under the pews, prostrating himself – which is what Muslims do when they pray.

Why didn’t anybody turn him in when he did this? How could he get away with falling flat on the floor to pray, while everyone else around him was kneeling (or whatever they did when they weren’t cheering that raving bigot of a minister)?

They probably thought he was drunk.

Sure, the secret Muslim president is a not-so-secret drunk.

You didn’t know that?

I’m sure it would be easy enough to prove with just a few minutes research.

Hang on …

OK. I did a few minutes research. I Googled “Obama drunk” and found several websites that seem to have articles saying our Muslim president is a drunk Muslim president.

“Obama Drunk with Power,” says one. So he’s not just a drinker, he’s a power drinker. Really, really dangerous.

And then, most damning of all, a report from NBC News (a pack of Commies, for sure) that quotes from the doctor’s report after Obama’s physical exam. (Sorry, I’m getting tired of typing Obama-Jihadi. Do I have to do all the hard work?)

The doctor – an actual doctor! – recommended “moderation in alcohol intake.”

There you have it. Proof! Why would the doctor recommend “moderation” unless the man is a drunk.

In the same sentence, the doctor also recommended, “periodic dental care.” So, obviously, Obama has bad breath too.

And, if you need further proof, everyone knows he smokes. And everyone also knows that smoking and drinking go hand in hand, like … well, like Muslims and jihad.

Hah!

And, by the way, take his name. No, not his real name – Abbu Jihadi – his fake name, the one he adopted to conceal his true identity.

Barack.

Rearrange the letters and you get … um, “Crab AK.”

And “AK” stands for Arkansas, which is where Clinton’s from. And everyone knows about Clinton. Both Clintons. Not Muslims, but, you know … evil. They murdered Vince Foster. And a bunch of other people.

And if that’s not enough, take “Barack,” throw in “Hussein,” rearrange the letters and you get “a U.S. crab sheik.” (Yes, I know, with the letter “n” left over. So what?)

He adopted a fake name that clearly spells out his true beliefs. He’s “a U.S. crab sheik.”

That’s so dangerous even I don’t know what it means.

Now I can see that some of you (oh, yes, I can see you all, right now!) still don’t believe me.

So let’s take a closer look.

What has Obama done?

Well, he bailed out the banks.

And everyone knows that Arabs have a lot of money. So he was protecting his own Muslim interests!

He bailed out General Motors.

And everyone knows those Saudi sheik pals of his love to drive Cadillacs. So he was just making sure his Saudi buddies can still buy the cars they love. (And, by the way, I just Googled “president Saudi” and found a link to a photo of “the president and a Saudi sheik holding hands.” I didn’t have time to click through and check it out – but why bother, it’s clear: He was holding hands with a sheik!)

And, finally, Obama pushed through a health care plan that will make sure Americans can all get medical care.

Why would he do that? Do you really have to ask?

Everyone knows the Muslims plan to enslave Americans and they want their slaves to be healthy and strong enough to serve them well.

Of course!

Well, if you don’t believe me now, I don’t know what more I can do.

I have offered you proof, absolute, irrefutable proof that President Abbu Jihadi (aka Barack Hussein Obama) is a Muslim.

If you can’t accept that, then you’re just not prepared to face reality.

But still, allow me to point out one more thing that really will convince you: Obama has never been known to attend services at a mosque. He has never said he is a Muslim. He has never even been seen praying to Mecca!

Why would he do all of that if he were not determined to conceal his true Muslim background?

Ha!

Now you believe me, don’t you?

Don’t you?