A Google search for true love?
I should have realized I’d been sidelined from the dating game for too long when I found out “Googling” a potential new love interest was de rigueur.I was Googled before the first date, forcing me to Google myself after the fact just to find out what someone I’d just met already knew about me. (Not much, as it turns out. A lot of links to old Aspen Times articles revealed my profession, but thankfully, there was nothing in there about … well, never mind.)Apparently, couples don’t get to know each other the old-fashioned way anymore: via happenstance. You know, like when you find out that someone special is the subject of a restraining order when you get the call for bail money.Now there are entire books devoted to wringing out every last detail of your love interest’s quirks, failings and potentially fatal flaws, not to mention their philosophies on the mundane practicalities of life – housekeeping, grocery shopping, fitness regimens, decorating tastes and whose fault it is when the car runs out of windshield wiper fluid.I don’t know, but I think the thrill is gone once you’ve dissected your cuddle quotient.Two people could live out their lives happily together unless they respond to a prompt like: I know which of my partner’s physical features he or she is least happy about.Whoa. Talk about flirting with disaster. A woman’s busy thinking her generous hips are her worst feature when the guy she thought was perfect brings up her big feet, bony knees and large pores.Bristling, she’ll reciprocate with remarks about his hairy mole, gross toenails or burgeoning beer gut and the honeymoon is over.Probing inquiries designed to reveal how much two people really don’t know about each another might reveal things people really shouldn’t know about each another.I ascribe to more of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” philosophy, so I naturally stumble when presented with statements like: I know what accomplishments my partner is most proud of.Heck, I don’t know. Giving up golf? I know that’s one of mine.This tells me nothing about compatibility. I want to know who’s going to do the cooking or, more appropriately, whether takeout Chinese food will trump a pizza delivery.Forget about religious beliefs. Who has to let the dog out at 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday? And who cleans up the dog puke, the person who made the lima bean casserole or the one who fed it to Fido?Lite beer or microbrew?”South Park” or “The Simpsons”?Sean Connery, Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnin?Co-mingling in the dresser drawers or segregation of socks and such?It’s not about how a couple will observe the holidays. Soulmates agree on premium cable versus the basic package.Janet Urquhart knows love means never having to say we’re out of beer. Her e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org
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