2007: Year of the Bond girl
Aspen, CO ColoradoHappy double-oh-seven, everyone!I don’t know why no one seemed to capitalize on the whole Bond theme this New Year’s, but I plan to run with it for the rest of the year. I’m claiming it’s going to be the year of the Bond Girl.That’s right, ladies. This is your year to pull those go-go boots out of the back of your closet, don that orange bikini with the white belt, maybe flash a little more cleavage than usual, learn to shoot a gun (I actually did that over the summer and thought it was pretty fun) and most importantly, use your powers to get whatever it is that you want.I’m not just pulling this out of my butt. I have good reason to believe there is something bigger than us that’s allowing this female empowerment to happen. Oh, calm down. This isn’t going to be some spirituality trip or feminist rant. If you’ve been paying any attention at all to anything I’ve been babbling about for the last four years, you should know that I’m the most sexist woman on the planet. I don’t even like women all that much and can totally understand why we drive men crazy. I can also see our limitations (three letters: PMS) when it comes to trying to claw our way up the ladder in what is essentially still a man’s world.But that’s just it. I think the feminists had it maybe a little bit backwards or maybe they were lead a little astray going for the whole equality thing because somewhere along the line, the wires got crossed and women started trying to be like men.I’ve got news for you: it’s not really working out for us. It’s all backwards. Women need to go back to celebrating being women. That doesn’t mean we have to abandon the wisdom and opportunity of modern times. We just need to embrace it in a new way.Lately, I’ve found myself surrounded by a lot of powerful women and have also seen a lot of my female friends finding power within themselves they never even knew they had. There seems to be a lot of “this is going to be my year” sentiment going around. It’s more than your average “out with the old and in with the new” type stuff.Like the other day I was sitting with my new friend Jenny at the Hickory House and she goes, “This is going to be the Year of Jenny.” My first thought was, “That’s not fair – she can’t have the whole year to herself,” but then I realized that’s the point. I think mistake a lot women make we tend to think of everyone but ourselves. Being selfish doesn’t come as naturally to most women (though I wouldn’t put myself in that category – I’m pretty good at it, actually).Anyway, this New Year’s was super different for me from the start. Usually I’m all worried about what I’m going to do and where I’m going to go to fulfill some blind expectation about what the night is supposed to bring. But this year wasn’t like that at all.At 11 a.m. on New Year’s Eve I get a call with a job offer to do more celebrity interviews at the Aspen Peak party up at the Sundeck. I guess since the Mariah Carey thing went pretty well they thought I might be able to handle Seal, Heidi Klum and Barry Bonds as well as a slew of other celebrities who were rumored to show up and never did.For some reason I thought Barry Bonds would be the hardest one to interview since he just doesn’t strike me as being a warm and fuzzy type guy. He showed up with his whole family, wife, kids, and friends and posed with them for photos like any proud Dad would.So after like a million photos, he starts heading into the party and I have to grab him for the TV interview and he’s sort of annoyed. “Okay, fine,” he says. “But it better be quick. I want to spend New Year’s with my family.”I promise him it’ll only take a second and resist the urge to ask him something relevant like, “So will you be doing any drugs this evening besides steroids?” Instead I go with something safe and ask him how a professional baseball player fairs on the slopes. He liked that. He sort of softened and smiled from ear to ear and didn’t beat me up which was good.Heidi Klum was another story. She’s so flawless and radiant I found her hard to look at without falling to my knees and pounding my fists on the red carpet while screaming, “Why can’t I look like you? Life is so not fair!” at the top of my lungs. I just don’t get how she could have two babies in two years, produce an award-winning reality TV show, design her own jewelry line, be the wife of a rock star and still look that good. But that’s just the thing – she’s exactly what I’m talking about. (See, I’m not just coming up with another excuse to name drop – this whole thing all comes together in just a second, I swear.) There I was standing nose-to-nose the woman who donned a diamond studded bra two weeks after giving birth last year, not burning it. She’s a total superhero.At the midnight hour I found myself on the gondola with two of my favorite girlfriends, floating down the mountain under the moonlit sky with nothing but the peaks above and the lights below surrounding us, Bond girls on our own little magic carpet ride. We hollered and screamed and there were hugs and kisses but it was more than that. Whatever forces brought us there, just us, made us all realize it’s going to be our year.The Princess is kind of brain dead and realizes she’s probably not making much sense. Send your New Year’s wishes to firstname.lastname@example.org.