Colson: Lauren Boebert, a visitor from planet ARM |

Colson: Lauren Boebert, a visitor from planet ARM

John Colson
Hit & Run
John Colson
Courtesy photo

U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert, who supposedly lives in the Silt area of Western Garfield County and represents the 3rd Congressional District, actually is from another planet entirely, as far as I can tell.

Let’s call her planet Alt-Right Madness, or ARM for short. (Her primary interests are the 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and strong-arming Democratic voters into silence.)

I’ve been getting her blast e-mails for the past six months or so (not sure how I got on her mailing list, but it’s been an amusing adventure to witness her descent into ever-greater derangement), and now have a collection of 25 or so that I can turn to any time I feel the need for a bit of applied insanity.

The latest to hit my in-box is a diatribe entitled, “Impeach Merrick Garland,” sent out soon after Garland, who is the U.S. attorney general, signed off on a search warrant for the Mar-a-Lago home of the Great Orange Con Man, a.k.a. Donald J. Trump, in Florida.

Garland, along with other officials of the U.S. Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, concluded after a lengthy series of interactions with the loser of the 2020 presidential election that he had absconded with an undetermined number of classified documents when he finally left the White House in early 2021, and that a search warrant to find and retrieve those documents was justified and necessary.

The outcome of the search was the collection of numerous boxes of documents, on top of early troves of documents uncovered after federal archivists found they were missing some of what Trump was legally required to leave behind when he decamped.

The fact that Trump had been trying to hide and keep the documents (we’re still not sure why), and that both he and his lawyers had lied about the matter when asked by federal officials, has now been clearly established.

So what is Boebert upset about?

Let us see.

Her opening remark in the email is a telling one: “Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results!” she virtually shouted, perhaps unwittingly giving us an example of the very thing she criticizes, something she seems to do every time she opens her mouth.

She goes on to write that “Democrats continue to prove this by printing billions of dollars and trying to spend their way to a better economy.”

Which, of course, is exactly what governments all over the world do when their economies are in trouble. It’s called deficit spending and is something that Republican politicians have proven exceptionally adept at.

For instance, according to data available from, President Ronald Reagan “took the deficit from $70 billion (inherited from President Jimmy Carter) to $175 billion, Bush 41 (President George H.W. Bush) took it to $300 billion, Clinton (Democrat Bill Clinton, that is) got it to zero. Bush 43 (President George W. Bush) took it from zero to $1.2 trillion. (President Barack) Obama halved it to $600 billion. Trump got it back to a trillion.”

The quote is from Alex Cole, founder of the Newsitics media outlet, and the numbers were basically confirmed by a Politifact analysis.

That is, in one capsule of text, a glance at the ups and downs of our national budgetary deficits in recent history, and an example of how Republicans such as Boebert like to throw out accusations about the awful fiscal deeds of Democrats when their own party makes Democrats look like misers.

Anyways, Boebert is very Trumplike in her emails, in that she tends to bluster all over the political landscape in an effort to make her points, and this one is no exception. She starts out with a condemnation of the recently passed Inflation Reduction Act, a bipartisan achievement that will have broad and, in total, beneficial effects on our nation’s economy and social spending, and which she voted against.

She maintains that the act will result in the hiring of 87,000 “additional IRS agents” (an apparent nod to the fact that Trump, a tax-hater extraordinaire, has decimated the ranks of the Internal Revenue Service), adding that “some of them will be armed and expected to use ‘deadly force.’”

No explanation of how that “deadly force” is to be applied, but the implication is a clear effort to frighten taxpayers into believing Democrats will be sending gun-toting goons to our homes and …  well, she doesn’t explain any further.

She finally gets to Garland about a third of the way into her rant, lambasting the AG over the search of Trump’s home, though not really mentioning why the search happened — the Dems did it, so it must be some kind of heinous attack on our basic “freedoms,” is the theme here.

Without any facts to back up her outlandish and threatening accusations, Boebert goes on to note that way back in October of last year, she hopped onto the coattails of another addled right-wing extremist, U.S. Rep. Scott Perry of Pennsylvania. The bill she “co-sponsored” calls for Garland’s ouster for simply doing his job, which she termed “politicization of the Justice Department,” but again without specifics outside of long-winded, right-wing tropes, memes and lies.

I’m not sure why she ever got elected, though comments linked to her emails are peppered with sexist references to her being “hot” and other simple-minded, subliminally sexual accolades.

Since it’s likely she’ll be sent back to Congress in November, I predict we can expect more of this mindless drivel and the longing that it inspires among a certain troglodytic portion of the electorate.


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