Alcantara: Some advice for Vladimir Putin |

Alcantara: Some advice for Vladimir Putin

Letter to the editor
Letter to the editor

Remove all of the inhabitants of the Donetsk region, and move them west, along a rail of spears, to a barren place known as “The Chernobyl Territory.”

Gather the children of Luhansk, shave their heads and send them to boarding schools where you will demand they speak only Russian.

Capture several hundred thousand Pakistanis, Mongolians, Frenchmen — whatever’s easiest — ship them to the now empty fields of eastern Ukraine and force them to grow your wheat, corn, sunflowers and potatoes. After several generations, you can release their descendants, promising each of them 40 hectares on the moon.

Declare Crimea, Zaporizhzhia and Kherson as “protectorates” like Guam or Puerto Rico. Remember, as we like to say in America, “Rhetoric is nine-tenths of the law.”

In a couple of centuries, you can call yourself “The Greatest Nation on Earth,” and most people will be stupid enough to believe you.

Jose A. Alcantara