A mother’s perspective: Your actions matter when it comes to suicide | AspenTimes.com

A mother’s perspective: Your actions matter when it comes to suicide

Temple Glassier
Guest commentary

It is two years from Wednesday I lost my baby. I still cry every day, my heart still hurts and any little thing can trigger a memory that will still bring me to my knees. I miss him with every ounce of my being. Let today be the day you look at someone a little different. Let today be the day you make someone feel like they matter and things will get better.

The day that Patrick’s father died, the boys and I left the hospital and they were really hungry so I took them out to eat. We were sitting around the table in a busy restaurant that was packed and a waiter who was struggling to keep up came to our table to wait on us. They were all trying very hard to hold it together and just put some food in their system. The waiter came to the table to get our order and must have sensed the weight of the scene so he was trying very hard to be funny and to get one of them to smile. I so appreciated this young man’s effort. The next trip to the table he explained it was his first day and sorry he wasn’t doing a good job. I just smiled and said that it absolutely wasn’t him, we were just all having a very challenging day.

That was the day I looked at my surroundings differently. It wasn’t about what I was feeling and why did the world keep spinning? It was what other hurt is around me and how can I give that one person the smile of acceptance, nod of appreciation, smile of understanding or just a feeling that they “matter.” The boys and I talked about it for a while that day. I was sitting at a table of children who had just lost their father from suicide.

Sixteen months later, I lost my son Patrick to suicide. Again I have to look at my surroundings and ask, “What is that person feeling or going through today?”

Make someone feel like they matter today. You never know, it may make them feel better about themself and they will choose to live. Smile at them, hold a door for them, say hello, just give them a look of understanding and acceptance.

Save a parent, grandparent, aunt/uncle, child, spouse the feeling of loss because someone felt they didn’t matter and they hurt so much they took their own life and a part of their loved ones’ heart.

Patrick would go into the grocery store and buy a sandwich and a drink and take it out to a homeless guy in the parking lot. One time on our way to Lake Powell we stopped at a gas station in Grand Junction for fuel and I needed coffee. Patrick bought two cups of coffee and took them to two guys sleeping on a bench. He was a giver.

Temple Glassier is a Roaring Fork Valley native who has dedicated herself to preventing suicide since the death of her son in 2018.