Where have all the Texans gone?Remember the days when some big honkin’ guy would ski up to the lift line wearing the latest one-piece in bright red or sky blue, look you right in the eye and sincerely ask, “How y’all doin’?”Aspen in 2005 is too cool by one half. It’s especially easy to see this weekend, with all the Angelinos in town for Comedy Fest. They’re the ones walking around town looking tragically hip, with rectangular or cool oval glasses filled with rose or sky blue lenses, the quaffed 60-somethings who’ve spent a pocketful on plastic surgery and are feeling smug about how they don’t look a day over 48.Peel the layers off and their disconnect to our ski town at 8,000 feet is obvious. On top they look just right, sporting the latest and most fashionable winter outerwear. Once the jacket is gone, the crew neck or blouse underneath gives them away. But the real indicator of their non-hereness is the fact that none of them wear fleece.It’s easy to chuckle, rub your hand up and down the sleeve of your fleece jacket, sweater or backcountry shirt and feel superior, especially over folks from L.A. But they really aren’t any different (maybe a little better tanned) than the people from New York who were here over Christmas, in that none of them seem to ski.Aspen Mountain was practically empty yesterday, in spite of great snow, righteous bumps and warm temps. Empty in the middle of February? Yessirreebob, as some guy in a neon jacket with shoulder pads might have said to you on a sunny day in 1990. Yessirreebob.It was so quiet on Ajax yesterday, even as late as 10 a.m. you could lay your fatties on the ‘roy down Ruthie’s Run. That’s all fine for the few of us who were up there, but I’d rather be coping with bumps and smiling as some yeehaw from Corpus Christi comes screaming by screaming “Yeeeeehaaaaaaw!”
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