Where angels fear to tread | AspenTimes.com

Where angels fear to tread

It’s rare that I comment on national issues or those of a global nature, but here goes and devil take the hindmast.

The Catholic church is in Hong Kong trouble over the conduct of some of its priests, and what I refer to here – the particular problem – is rather widespread.

In a nutshell, these rogue clergy have been kneeling before the wrong altar – that of the chocolate speedway – and the posture assumed is that of the Folsom position. The recipients of these benedictions have been young boys – either altar boys or youthful parishioners, I reckon.

As much as $40 million has been shelled out to exorcise this stigma of pederasty so far. Unless you live under a rock, you are aware of what I’ve disclosed right here. But are you ready for my two-pronged solution to the quandary?

To my mind, the archaic stricture of celibacy should be removed from the priesthood or else a sheep should be provided to each diocese for buggery relief. A female sheep, if ewe know what I mean.

As always, I await feedback on the comments I’ve made on the subject du jour. In some quarters, I’m known as Hannibal Lechter of the letters. This is because (since 1963, Freddy Fisher) I invariably have my critics for lunch. If you doubt me, I welcome you to measure yourself against me.

At day’s end, fools rush in where angels fear to tread; on the other hand, pride cometh before a fall. This one’s for Freddy and Albert, as well. If only I could bring this to them.

(Pious) Pete Luhn


Support Local Journalism

Support Local Journalism

Readers around Aspen and Snowmass Village make the Aspen Times’ work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.

Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.

Each donation will be used exclusively for the development and creation of increased news coverage.


Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User