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What would Jesus do?

Aspen Times writer

Dear Editor:In a recent letter to the editor in one of our local papers a reader implied that the Democratic Party was in fact the “Demonic Party.” That’s pretty funny stuff in light of how our current president has hijacked Christianity for his own political purposes.If George Bush were a smarter man, I might think he was the antichrist. But apparently he is simply an evil-dumber whose strings are being plucked by the real evil-doers, like Dick Cheney, who could pass for Satan while riding on a Christmas Day parade float.Both Osama and George think they are instruments of God; apparently, the same God, which must make for very interesting Monday morning staff meetings up in the Great Perhaps; where both of these deadly chuckleheads no doubt hope to be rewarded with Eves and Virgins for their hard work in undermining the U.S. Constitution.But let’s face it – the GOP’s Jesus never was much for democracy, anyway; or feeding the hungry or honoring old Mom and Dad, unless of course Mom and Dad had summer cottages and blue-chip portfolios instead of park benches and dog food diets.Capitalizing on his apparent nonalcoholic juice with the Big Man upstairs, George the Arc Angel has been able to turn a one-in-a-million act of dumb luck terrorism into universal anti-American ideology for the Muslim masses. God’s 40 acres and a mule can now be had by any oil-starved pomegranate farmer willing to stuff a bomb into the ass of his camel or underneath a passing Hummer (currently being leased to a 50-year-old Army reservist by Halliburton).Monday, our president stood in the Rose Garden and somberly warned us that New York City was once again under a dire and immediate terrorist threat. What he didn’t tell you was that the intelligence that this threat was based on came from before 9/11; the information was three years old. Bush was lying again. Our good Christian president was once again manipulating the grief and fear of our nation for his own political gain.When it comes to this election, ask yourself the favorite question of the right-wing whack-a-dos like Pat Robertson and Ralph Reed; ask yourself: What would Jesus do? Personally, I think He’d puke and then slap the living s— out of George Bush, and then, if He still had the good sense His Father gave Him, Jesus would vote for John Kerry. Make a hell of a Trinity.Patrick HasburghAspenAspen


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