What surprises lurk beneath the snowpack? | AspenTimes.com

What surprises lurk beneath the snowpack?

I have the rather sick feeling that it may be mid-June before I see my front yard here in Lenado again.

There is 4 to 5 feet of snow covering the yard, and in one area the snow is almost even with the eave of the roof, the result of shoveling snow off that very roof. But a certain sense of exciting anticipation is created by all that snow because I have no idea what may be buried out there.

I am not bragging but it can be said that I am an unusually accomplished procrastinator, perfectly content to watch as snow covers my garden hoses and shovels and rakes while I gently sip a cocktail and watch my personal goods slowly disappear. I was so accomplished at deferring action this past fall that my small electric snowblower actually was buried and had to be dug out after a couple of those early winter storms.

But for all of my moaning about endless shoveling and ice buildup on my cabin roof, I am excited to see what is uncovered when the snow melts away. My sense of excitement may be somewhat premature, given the continuing storms, but I need something positive to cling to as this endless winter lumbers on and on.

In my dreams, I would love to see an acceptable end to George W.’s insane war in Iraq; I would enjoy finding a solution to the Entrance to Aspen question, which I would pass on to the good citizens of Aspen before they are forced to vote on that issue for the umpteenth time; I would wet my pants to find gasoline at less than $2 a gallon before it hits $5 ” but all of that is nothing more than a dream.

If the snow in Lenado ever melts, the odds are that a bunch of gardening tools will be exposed, along with an abundance of dog poop. So it goes!

It goes without saying that this has been an extraordinary winter, but I will say it anyway because being redundant is a means of filling space. At any rate, it became clear to me how much I was dreading this winter while watching the news on Denver television recently. I realized how much I had come to fear seeing that red section on the weather map that read “Winter Storm Warning” or “Blowing Snow Advisory.”

This year the forecasters were far too accurate for my taste. All it took was for either warning to show up on the screen in the Aspen area and my back would begin to hurt and my disposition would begin to sour. But I have lived in the valley since 1969, so I should be accustomed to winters in the Rocky Mountains. I am thus accustomed, but that does not mean I welcome the winters more as I age. It is an attitude problem I seem unable to adjust. I should be out frolicking in the snow as I once did. The problem now is that if I attempted to frolic, I would probably just fall down, which I am doing with more regularity without even adding the frolic to my game plan. It has something to do with an inner-ear problem, that and perhaps the fact that I do enjoy an occasional cocktail or two?

But all of the snow and my lack of frolicking has allowed me more time to concentrate on more pressing issues, such as the continuing race for the presidential nomination for the Democratic Party. CNN is my main source for election news because I can remember the channel number and it is only two clicks away from ESPN sports. CNN strikes me as being reasonably fair in its coverage but even there it has become apparent that the mute button is a most valuable gadget.

I would love to know who developed it and probably could go to Google for an answer; however, my wood-burning computer refuses to give me Google, so I will just have to live with that ignorance. I very well could wear out the mute button because of George W., our compassionate-warrior president. It has come to the point where I simply cannot tolerate listening to him. In eight years, I have heard enough of his lies to simply quit listening.

The same could be said of the candidates, both the Republican and Democratic leaders. It is not a matter of accusing them of lying, although we must be suspicious, but we have heard so many empty promises over the years that it is difficult to trust what they say.

So with months to go before a new administration is finally seated, it is obvious my mute button will become a dear friend.

If only we had a mute button for cell-phone users! Apparently there is a gadget that will disable cell phones within a restricted area but I am told that it is very expensive. Appropriate use of cell phones is fine, and I realize they are essential to some. Most of us has a near-miss story involving a cell-phone user driving down the highway. Some were not born to multitask.

It would be a rather pleasant surprise to see my lawn covered with cell phones once the snow melts in the spring, whenever that may be. I would of course make every effort to return those phones to their proper owners.

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