Aspen Untucked: An Ode to Spring
Hello, Spring. Welcome!
I smelled you coming nearly a week ago, when I started hacking and sneezing to no end. My sinuses must’ve known your arrival was near, for my head felt congested and cloudy, and my eyes started watering. I always cry when you get here, Spring. Unlike your distant cousins — Summer, Fall and Winter — you are the season that hurts to love.
Yet, I do love you, Spring. I love your ability to make the flowers blossom and the birds chirp. I love that you make the days longer and the nights warmer. But since your arrival, I’ve practically overdosed on antihistamines, and my face is still two sizes too large. Nothing seems to keep the pollen at bay.
Spring, you are a beautiful time of year, but why must you encourage my mucous membranes like this? It’s like you enjoy taunting them to the point of disarray. They’re just trying to help, blocking any harmful pathogens from entering my body. But you provide them with a flurry of substances all at once, overwhelming my senses and frustrating my passageways. It’s just not nice.
You know, Spring, I have to admit: I do love your skiing. I love the warm days where all I have to wear on the slopes is a tank top and a pair of leggings. I love the revelrous après scene you help facilitate and the Veuve Clicquot tent that comes out upon your arrival (that was your idea, right?). You really do host incredible afternoons, filled with smiles and laughter. At times like these, I know you as a welcoming season, a fun one that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Then, I wake up the next morning with a sink faucet for a nose, and I remember that you have a dark side. You’re not just sunshine and rainbows, like they portray in the movies. I mean, do you have any idea how many tissues I have had to use in the past few days alone? Do you and Kleenex have some kind of deal going on?
I’m not sure how much longer I can live like this, Spring. You only just arrived this past Monday and already I’ve run out of non-iodized pure salt for my Neti Pot. I started using table salt, which Google says is OK, but it just feels wrong for some reason. Perhaps I’ll go for pink Himalayan salt or that truffle salt I got a few months ago. It tastes fabulous on steaks. Maybe that would work better? Mmm … I’ll give it a try and let you know.
Spring, to reiterate, I would like to extend a warm welcome. It’s always nice to see you this time of year. However, if there’s any way you could tone down the pollen count just ever so slightly, I would greatly appreciate it. I may go as far as to declare you my favorite season. Just don’t tell Summer …
Barbara Platts is aware that using truffle salt to irrigate her nasal passageways is not a good idea. She was just joking. Reach her at email@example.com.
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