Watering down fun | AspenTimes.com

Watering down fun

Dear Editor:

So Aspen Skiing Co. is eliminating three-hour lunches and cocktails at Cloud Nine in what will no doubt be a successful effort to drive away the dancing and partying cougar/MILF contingent.

This bit of brilliance from the executive suites will piss off a lot of men, too. Imagine telling a Brazilian or Russian millionaire that he can’t have a cocktail and then cutting him off after only allowed three glasses of beer or wine!

The geniuses at Skico have managed to make Aspen Highlands look and feel a lot more like Mormon Utah than they realize. The only difference is that now it’s easier for people to enjoy a drink and long lunch in Utah.

I hear the company is planning to hire a team of “geriatric masseuses” to work at Cloud 9 and all the other Skico “party” spots, like Base Village and The Little Nell – aka “the wrinkle room.” That way they can attract more customers from that “hard-partying,” over-65 set.

Great way to focus on vitality.

Vanessa Corona