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Trust me

Dear Editor:I am going to change my vote!Have you seen the price of milk lately? It is almost $5 a gallon!I just spent a year in Ireland, and everywhere I traveled I saw two things: lots of black and white cows and awful traffic jams. Those Irish people need rescuing from a government that suppresses them by not building adequate infrastructure. So here is the plan: We re-elect President Bush, invade (oops, I mean “liberate”) Ireland, destroy what few four-lane roads they have in the process and then build a fine new highway system for them. Meanwhile, we increase their milk production and presto, our price of milk will plummet, thereby making millions of American families so much happier. Trust me.Wait, you say, Ireland does have a small standing army, and you wonder if we really have any troops available to do the job on the ground. Trust me, we can bomb them into submission, and they will welcome our arrival. I have solid innuendo that their government is talking about using Mad Cow Disease (that’s MCD for short) to wipe out other countries’ milk production and thereby raising their milk prices to us. Trust me, this is imminent danger!Re-elect President Bush, and we can have a world that is safer from MCD threats. Trust me.A vote for George is a vote for cheap milk … trust me.Ready to change your vote?Gary PaxCarbondale


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