Tired of hearing the seedy langauge | AspenTimes.com

Tired of hearing the seedy langauge

Dear Editor:

Recently, on a gondola ride on Aspen Mountain, I had the opportunity to listen in on a conversation between two young men. These two gentlemen, and I use this term loosely, were discussing their last evening’s adventures. They were oblivious to my presence as the two discussed the events. The use of profanity was, let’s say, often. I have replaced the naughty words with fruit names.

“Yo, dude, last night was cantalouping off the chain.” “Yeah, bro, it was the casaba.” “I still can’t believe that cantalouping guy tried to stop you from dancing with that cantalouping girl. What a mother cantalouper.” “Yeah, I think he was her cantalouping ex-boyfriend, cumquat hole.”

“What was that cantalouping cantalouper thinking?” “I don’t know, dude. She didn’t want anything to do with that mother cantalouper.” “Casaba dude, she was hot.” “Yes, she was, and she gave me her cantalouping number.” “Oh, and what are you going to do about that son of a watermelon ex?” “Casaba man, he ain’t my cantalouping problem, cantaloupe him. … Hey, what was up with you and Stacy?” “Casaba, she’s such a cantalouping watermelon. I can never get it right with her … watermelon.”

I thought to myself, “I wonder if I was this bad when I was young.” I remember how my mother used to get mad at me when I had a loose mouth in front of her. I also remember my son’s first word was “casaba,” and I don’t mean the melon. My wife was not impressed.

It is amazing to me how swear words have become so common in our day-to-day conversations, and it’s not just the guys. I hear the gals spurting off, too. I would think that someone could go broke throwing money into a cuss box. Maybe a nonprofit could look into tapping this concept.

What can we do about this as a society? Casaba if I know – it’s not my cantalouping problem.

James H. Perry


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