The impact of Oprah
If you are anything like me, you have been experiencing Oprah grief. No, she didn’t die and yes, she will still be around, but it is not the same. We are used to seeing her every day at 4 p.m., or on the TiVo, and she will be dearly missed. She taught us to live our best life, be as cute as we can be and look for “s”-shaped poops.
Why are we so attached to Oprah? The same reason we fall in love or get pissed at our spouse – projections. Projections are when we literally “project” our positive or negative qualities and emotions onto another person or object. We think it is they who are “angry” or “beautiful.” While it may be true that they possess these qualities, it is most likely true that the quality is actually yours. Taking back projections gives us power, the power to own who we really are and to change the things we don’t like.
So what does this have to do with Oprah grief? When we project our positive qualities on someone and forget to own them ourselves, we are in extreme danger of feeling intense loss if anything were ever to happen to them. Often we take peoples’ presence for granted, magically thinking they will always be there. Anyone who has experienced a loss knows this isn’t true.
So how do we take back projections? Recognizing projections is the first step. The general rule here is, if you can spot it, then you’ve got it. This is not necessarily true all the time, sometimes people are just jerks and it’s best to avoid contact. Furthermore, it is easier to take back positive projections than negative ones. We are more likely to admit we are “beautiful” than “angry.” Once recognized, we can own the projection by putting “I” in the place of “him, her or them.” Here are some examples of my Oprah projections and how I own them now.
Projection: Oprah is my hero. Ownership: I am a hero in my own life. Projection: Oprah is my role model. Ownership: I am a role model. Projection: Oprah is rich, intelligent, authentic, sincere, ballsy, kind, considerate, generous, wise, beautiful, strong, transparent, honest, brave, creative, energetic and a channel of truth and spirit. Ownership: I am rich, intelligent, authentic, sincere, ballsy, kind, considerate, generous, wise, beautiful, strong, transparent, honest, brave, creative, energetic and a channel of truth and spirit.
Yes, it is true that she possesses these qualities and it is as true that I possess these qualities as well. Now that I claim ownership of these qualities, I won’t miss them, I am them. Can you own these qualities? In the words of Marianne Williamson, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
Thank you, Oprah, for helping to shape the wonderful person I have become.
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