Rogers: The high art of adverbs, adjectives
Well, of course, it wouldn’t be long before ASPENX — the “premium” retail and “experiential” brand from Aspen Skiing Company — would be “pleased to announce a further collaboration with luxury brand Prada to unveil a limited-edition collection of pieces made of renowned Prada Re-Nylon fabric.”
And so on, with the glittering adjectives and adverbs in such press releases, beautiful for stringing them to seemingly every bare noun and verb:
“Representing a commitment to sustainable practice now and in the future, the Prada Re-Nylon is a groundbreaking evolution of the brand’s most recognizable signifier, nylon — an emblem of Prada’s distinct viewpoint on modern luxury. Re-Nylon is the next step in fabric technology and sustainable luxury, a textile that can be endlessly regenerated without loss of quality, a true cyclical luxury.
“Prada Re-Nylon is entirely crafted from a regenerated nylon created through the recycling and purification of plastic collected from oceans, fishing nets, landfills and textile-fiber waste globally. Through a process of de-polymerization, purification and then transformation into new polymers and then threads, this material can be recuperated and made into new nylon fabric.
“Translating Re-Nylon into Prada ready-to-wear, pieces fuse sportswear elements with silhouettes and approaches of luxury: designed by Prada, the womenswear and menswear pieces for ASPENX include jackets, shirts and sweatshirts in a cobalt blue tone with touches of black. The signature graphic — a visual of white and black slashes — is designed by Paula Crown for a contemporary and striking appearance.
“The limited-edition ASPENX Prada collection is exclusively available in the ASPENX store located in Aspen’s Gondola Plaza and now available for purchase on ASPENX.com.”
Of course, it’s easy for news scribes — with their scribblings focused on just the facts, ma’am, verbs and nouns stripped of adornment — to make light of the more luxurious artistry of the marketers and, truth be told, writers trying to capture the full flavor of all the arts in reviews and such.
Still, some advice from Mark Twain holds through the generations: “When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them — then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.”
Of course, he wasn’t staring down the barrel of a 3,000th press release to pump out for a fancy clothing line, accessories, fragrances, shoes, sunglasses, whathaveyou — never mind trying make a tote bag sound like it’s really worth $5,000.
That might have driven the humorist to a few different adjectives of his own, along with, no doubt, attracting an acquisitive buyer of means only mildly annoyed at such wry observations of this particular art aiming, in this case, to help save the world. Well, if you can afford it.
Long before you could buy your Patagonia apparel and gear at the Snowmass Village Mall, company founder Yvon Chouinard was an avid rock climber and mountain man living in California.
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