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The Grinch’s boot

On Saturday, Dec. 13, the sounds of music were ringing through the St. Mary’s Church and into the streets of Aspen, while the Aspen Choral Society and members of the choir performed above and beyond all expectations. What a beautiful evening of music.

As we walked out of the church, replaying the music in our souls, we were reminded that this time of year can also be a sad time. When we arrived at our vehicle, we noticed that the “Grinch” had been there before us and installed his little boot on the new snow tire. Merry Christmas!

First reactions are always the worst, and in this case, they were the only ones. Moments after I read the “professional” citation attached to my window, with a convenient cell phone number, I spoke to a stranger and he said he would be there momentarily.



At first thought, he was close enough to observe me and our conversation, because this queer little man (you know who I mean) arrived in no time with his little head lamp glowing. Out of the darkness he came, looking at me with that one good eye, and explained that I was parked illegally and pointed out the sign 15 yards away in small print.

My parking choice was an honest mistake. How could have I have known, with the other 15 empty parking spaces around me at 7 p.m.?




Needless to say, this queer little man said he needed $80 cash to have the stocking removed from my tire, and it was his “paycheck.” The figures raced through my mind, 10 boots a week, $800, 20 boots a week, $1,600, 30 boots a week, etc.

I then wondered if the powerful people who control our adjusted income, you know who I mean, knew about this little man’s business adventures. Maybe I will check into that myself.

But, we were at the mercy of this little man with one good eye and managed to round up $80 cash! He then disconnected us from the large metallic stocking, filled with treasures, stuffed it into his little black bag and disappeared into the darkness of the nearest alley.

I hope you sleep well tonight, you queer little man, and maybe you were able to record our conversation on your little hidden recorder, because if you did, you will not forget my cheery little voice. Happy holidays!

Jeff Heidemann

On the Fork

El Jebel


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