Thanks for everything, W
April 9, 2003
This letter, dated April 7, was originally addressed to President George W. Bush.
Dear President Bush,
I am writing you to let you know what a fantastic and incredible job you are doing with freeing and liberating us from Iraq’s terrorism and weapons of mass destruction.
Your initial calculation that about 60 percent of the American population either can’t or don’t read or only get their news information from the government-censored major news networks was right on.
Of course you didn’t really want to take Baghdad in three to five days. The longer you string the war out, the more committed the public gets to the fighting; and they’ll take whatever kind of victory they can get, whenever they can get it. Thank God you didn’t send in the Peace Corps first. This longer war not only gives Hussein more time to mysteriously disappear, but it also gives weapons of mass destruction more time to mysteriously appear in places they hadn’t been before. I hope that all of the made in ____ logos are removed by then.
I can’t wait for the next election so we can get some new legislation passed to eliminate term limits so we can keep you forever. But, I would have thought you were going to start with cleaning up Venezuela first and then liberating all of South America to eventually have one open and free continent, from north to south poles, we could call One America. But starting with a smaller country before the election was probably a good idea.
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Way to go for the sake, liberation and freedom of the whole planet.
With the greatest awe from Carbondale,